It has been the plan for over a year to move my mother-in-law from her assisted living facility to a nursing home (and applying for medicaid.) She makes $2K a month but half of that comes from the VA and would not continue if she were in a nursing home therefore her income would be around $1000. Without a break, the cost of her housing and care (for her level) would be about $4500 a month. We had paid around $3500 a month for 2010 (with most of her adult children picking up the tab of the balance each month.) We really couldn't afford it anymore.
But as the year was ending, I was becoming more sad about the move. I procrastinated in finding a suitable place to move her. I did finally make some calls but was dreading the upcoming decisions. The place where she lives is wonderful and the staff that care for her each day are awesome! One even teared up as I discussed the possible move. That's not easy to find...people who are so caring.
Finally, in mid-November, my sister-in-law (one of my MIL's daughters) called and said she felt the same way I did. She suggested I call one more time to see if we could negotiate a deal to allow her to stay a little longer. Yes, we could have moved her and not paid anything but she's happy there, knows where her dining room chair is and seems peaceful. Moving someone with Alzheimers is stressful on them. The less stress, the better.
We communicated back and forth, between local offices and headquarters, through my initial staffmember to the final supervisor who today (after 2 months but better late than never)...gave us the number we could afford. It'll cost us about $2700 month. What a blessing! We can keep her there one more year!!! I feel SO good about this and know that I will be able to sleep better at night now. It's incredible that we can put off this inevitable move at least 11 more months!
A couple weeks ago, my MIL celebrated her 89th birthday. We brought over a little cake for her to eat! She'll smile at the camera if I take the picture because I smile at her and she smiles back. I tried to get my son to take a picture of she and I but she wouldn't look at him or the camera but looked at me next to her instead. I did get one of her and the boys though with her birthday cake which she loved. It was so cute hearing my 'lil ones singing Happy Birthday to her. I fixed her a spot and left a few minutes to check about her looming contract. When I returned, I realized that she wasn't able to eat very well by herself (the table was kinda low) so I fed her the rest. She just loves desserts and particularly, birthday cake. It's another blessing that she lived another year and could celebrate another birthday.