Saturday, October 21, 2017

Another year under my belt...

I haven't logged on in such a long time. I haven't thought about the stories, events and pictures I've blogged about and switched my method of writing. I had been writing in a gratitude journal at home and being positive.

It's been another year of remission. Two years. I'm very happy. It felt like I held my breath for a few months before my annual testing and labs.

So I'm on to continue my wonderful life... Hopefully, I'll post more on here.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

My tree outside the house.

When my parents first bought their land back in 1972, they moved their house to the property, cleaned off the fence lines, cleared the brush, brought in lots of sand and planted trees. They also had my brother and me plant trees that we chose as well. After they died, I bought the property from my brothers and moved onto it about 8 years ago. The best part about where I live are the trees.

I love trees. I have 'collected' a multitude of trees of all different kinds on one of my Pinterest boards. I love big trees and gnarly looking ones. I think they're peaceful looking and I love the green colors on the one in my driveway right now. A really good friend of mine said once that he saw trees as keepers of the land, the watchers and recordkeepers of the world gone past. And that the old and scary ones look as if they could harness the evil the world holds. I'd like to eventually go the Pacific Northwest and see all the awesome trees in that part of the country. I'm looking forward to the hope of climbing trees, listening to waterfalls and letting myself engulf the flavor of Mother Nature.

Outside my house, this is just a little bit of this tree.

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Wednesday, February 17, 2016


We have a new member of our family. Well, actually, he's been here a while. We got him last summer as a puppy and it's been fun watching him play as he has so much energy! I had forgotten about life with a dog. I'm more of a cat person. You know, the cat who can take care of itself and doesn't need to be walked. But the excited look and eagerness to see me when I return home from him makes me smile. I automatically have to reach down and rub his tummy and stroke his fur. My hubby had wanted a dog for years but we were just waiting for the right moment. Even my kiddos have wanted one and now they have a new best friend. I'm right now watching him as he's taking a nap and his legs are moving as if he is running in his dream. So sweet!

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Friday, January 22, 2016

The End of 2015

The last few months have been full of excitement and change. I've finally completed my breast cancer treatment (radiation) in October. While there are so many bigger issues I've dealt with and will still deal with for many years, one little annoying one is having to not being able to open things with my fingers, like these little butter things I wanted to open for my biscuits.

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Just before Thanksgiving, my MIL passed away. The last ten years have been rough for her. From breaking her hip , moving into an assisted living facility and declining in health and mind. I reread my blog entries today and loved to see where I had written here or there about her. It reminds me of how much I loved her. From eating ice cream , spending quality time in the hospital, , taking her to doctor appointments, not recognizing me anymore, celebrating birthdays with her, and all the times in between. I have been missing her for a decade, and still do. I know she's up in heaven looking down and smiling. At her memorial service, my girls and I took a picture.

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Christmas preparations were interrupted by another surgery (gall bladder) but it ended up peaceful and festive. I was definitely in a different place than I was a year ago, oblivious of the raging cancer growing within me. I have a whole new perspective on friendships as well. There are those friends and family who don't know what to say so they slip away quietly. And then there are those who have always been there and who continue to shine brightly like SIL Patti. Having been a BC survivor, she was a calm voice in a sea of anxiety and her never ending greeting cards throughout the year were priceless. My brother Mike who lives next door was a huge help especially with picking up and dropping off my kiddos as were my daughters. And then there are those who were acquaintances and then moved up into the friend category with their assistance. My friend Kathy brought lots of food for the entire family probably once a month for the whole year. In addition, the fact that she had to come by the house forced me to get up and clean. It would take a few days in those days when I was really sick with chemo and that was great motivation to remain in the 'real world.' Of course, my hubby stayed by my side the entire time. I had other friends who were very helpful and I am grateful to have a wonderful circle of friends and family. I'm very blessed.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Reading at night...

I've returned to reading again. Usually I read while I'm visiting my SIL when everyone else naps. But now, I'm reading more at home. I am in the middle of a pretty good book on my Kindle. Also, I'm on CD 17 out of 19 of a book in my car (that I listen to while driving back and forth the long journey each day to radiation.) That's not all, I'm also reading a book to my kiddos at night as well. We're 37% through it right now, lol! It's amazing how they listen so much better to a book and it's details rather than everyday requests and commands I make to them. I used to read to my kiddos a lot especially in the summers but I've gotten out of the habit. I want to continue it...and make it a nightly thing for years to come...that'd be a wonderful plan.

A couple nights ago, my youngest was looking for something to do and I wasn't allowing him to play on his electronics (he had gotten a warning for something or other at school and that's a consequence of mine that I give him.) I told him to read a book. So he picked one out and came in my bedroom where I was laying down resting and started reading out loud. It was a Dr. Seuss book and I peered over and listened to him read. Hearing his little voice so intrigued in the story was the highlight of my day. I'm grateful today for life and it's blessings.

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Wednesday, June 17, 2015

A half a year later...

It's amazing how my life has changed in the last six months! From suspecting cancer before Christmas to almost the end of chemo next week. I've finished Taxol and have one more A/C (Adriamycin Cytoxan) infusion. It's been a long lonely journey. I can't wait to be able to go to movies again and I've missed not going to the school when my kids have something going on. I miss my stamina and can't wait to be able to walk for more than 10 minutes without having to stop and rest. I can't wait for the neuropathy on my fingers and feet to go away because I miss being able to pick things up or open stuff. I miss my fingernails and toenails and how they used to look. While my fingernails aren't too bad, my toenails are dark/black and the nails have started coming up. I miss my old life...

This is a pic of one hand a couple of months ago (I have trouble pushing the button and holding the phone at the same time so I haven't taken recent pics of them.) In fact, I find that the buttons on the remotes of the tv and car keys are the most painful things during the day.
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ok....enough whining...

In other news, my granddaughter has healed well from her first hand/feet surgery and will be having another one next week. She has three fingers and a thumb now...and will soon have a fourth finger on each hand! My daughter will walk to my house a few times during the week and then borrow my bike with the kid seat on it and then go bike riding. I love seeing them, especially Olivia.
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And my boys have gone to spend some time at the farm with my SIL. School is out and they're having fun and it's good to get away from home sometimes. A couple weeks ago, we visited a friend who had this awesome magnolia tree in their yard so I took a pic of them. Yeah....I'm missing them!
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Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Cancer....and stuff

New vocabulary:

hormone receptors
chemo port

I have breast cancer and it's spread but not everywhere. I am currently doing chemo for 24 weeks, then surgery, then 6 weeks radiation, then 10 years taking tamoxifen. I want this stuff gone and am doing all I can do help it leave peacefully!

Early in my diagnosis, I was driving the kids to school and had to stop for a moment to get my tears in order. My fourth grader said, "Mom, lots of people have cancer."

Yes, that gave me perspective again.

And recently, he said, "Mom, I'm glad you're alive." ...ok. I am too...and will continue to do what I need to do to be cancer free again. He seems happier when I wear my wig (since my hair fell out) especially if we'll be out of the house and I don't blame him. I'm just a month into my treatments. It's tough being a kid and even tougher having a mom with cancer.

I may not be doing many posts but now know why.