Thursday, April 23, 2009
Decisionmaking is so difficult when you have such big decisions to make. I have to decide what to do about caring for my elderly mother-in-law now. She isn't able to care for herself. She doesn't have enough income to afford an assisted living facility. She has been in the hospital several days and they've determined she can't live on her own and probably has early Alzheimer's. So, what to do.... I'm debating on the outcome...find someone to live with her at home, move in with her, have her move in with us (no, scratch that idea), rent her home out to have enough income to afford an assisted living facility (we'd still need to pay for some of it.) I have such big pits in my stomach with the thought of someone not being patient or mean to her (because, really, she's a pain...she can be a really mean person and is so set in her ways and grumpy.) I want to do the best for her and am spending a lot of time getting all my information in order to make the best one. For now, they're trying to find a nursing home for her (for low level physical therapy) so that we have time to make that final decision. Sigh....actually, it's almost a panic attack I feel at times because I'm so torn up on all of this. I've tried cleaning her home up a bit and have someone doing intensive cleaning tomorrow. I want her to be comfortable, but safe and when she's not taking her medication properly, losing her mail, forgetting important people and relationships from time to time, there's a problem. That I know...and I have to continue thinking that I'm doing the best for her.