Mother's Day, in retrospect

Mother's Day wasn't the one I expected. Of course, I had hoped my adult daughters would have done something nice or treated the day as special as I did when my mother was alive to share it with her. But somewhere along with way, they didn't 'get' that. My boys were excited to have made stuff in school and brought it home (which I thoroughly enjoyed.) Around lunch, I threw a picnic lunch together and packed the boys in the car and we headed down to the beach to enjoy the sand and the waves. My hubby was at away at work so we spent hours with our feet in the water and climbing up and down in the sand piles as well as looking at shells. It turned out fine! Apparently, my younger daughter send me an invitation on FaceBook to lunch (which I didn't see.) It was a lack of communication but it also turned out fine. However, what made this one different from the rest? The night before, my oldest daughter (she'll be 27 soon)came over talking about certain symptoms that you automatically think 'pregnancy' when you hear them. She went to the store and came back and threw the box in my lap. There were two (closed and used) tests which read 'positive.' Yep, I'll be a grandmother. While being pregnant right now is not in her plans, it was quite a shock nonetheless. Everything will change for her if it hasn't already. My daughter who sleeps late, smokes, drinks wine in the evenings, takes something to help her sleep and lives for herself has returned to the one I knew long ago... This one I've seen in the past week has absolutely quit smoking, hasn't drunk or taken anything, and has reached inside for the motivation, determination and will-power that I had thought was gone forever. She's already seen the doctor and has an ultrasound scheduled in a few days. It's amazing how someone with such a lifestyle changed their behavior the exact same day, within hours, of finding out they were now responsible for someone else. She's tried to stop smoking in the past with little success but now, she's been a 'non-smoker' for practically a week. It seems like she is already started being a mother, putting the importance of what's best for your child, ahead of her own indulgences. I love seeing that she's learned and remembered this from somewhere. Now I see...this was the perfect Mother's Day Present...

A Holiday Away from Home

Last weekend, we went to my SIL's for Easter. We went to their farm where my hubby and first grader would prefer to live permanently, lol! It was nice and not too hot! We only saw two live scorpions and one dead rattlesnake. While we were driving down there, we passed by a farm. I had hubby turn around so I could step out and take some pictures. The white poppy type flowers were gorgeous! This is the entrance from a distance.


Of course, I had to crawl through the fence to see the flowers up close! As far as you could see, they were everywhere!






This is the road leading up to their property.


Along the way (and all over in the county) are drilling rigs. Here in TX and LA, there are many places where oil and natural gas are drilled (all over!)


Right across the street are lots of cows mooing!


Every morning, we took a walk with the dogs down to the pond. My BIL is feeding their fish. They're hoping that next year, they could fish in it.



My SIL made a birthday/Easter cake for my preschooler. We celebrated his birthday at home with family the night before we left but there's always an excuse to eat cake! She let my first grader decorate the bunny's face.


Photo opp!


During the walks, I would see this! A big smile as my preschooler asks me to pick him up and carry him back to the house!


And, of course, our eggs after dying them! We have gone away for Thanksgiving before (camping, usually with my brother and nephew) but this is the first time we've celebrated another holiday away from home. It wasn't as scary as I had imagined. Not to self: if bringing chocolate somewhere, don't store it in the trunk or in the back of a truck when the trip takes four or five hours.

Bluebonnets

I live in Texas. The state flower is the bluebonnet (which usually only blooms about now.) They're not easy to grow but if you plant them, they'll usually come back every year. In certain parts of TX, they're all over. Where I live, they're only on the sides of some highways (thanks to the highway department for planting them.) Of course, the 'thing' to do is to stop and take a picture with them. I don't know why. It's somethings I (and many other people) do. So, on the way back from a trip a couple of weeks ago, we stopped and took a couple pics. Only one decent one came out, lol! I love the color of the bluebonnets!



I saw a picture on my brother's facebook page with this lovely picture of bluebonnets and grabbed it to share as well.

21

My hubby had a conference out of town and since it was spring break, the family went too! My younger daughter followed us in her vehicle because she wasn't going to stay as long as we were. We stayed about two and a half days. While there, we celebrated her 21st birthday. We had a really enjoyable experience overall. I took lots of pictures too. This is my favorite. We were walking to a market/restaurant and she was carrying my youngest across the street and then just continued carrying him.

It's been raining...

...a lot! The ground is slushy!!! The water has nowhere to go and I've forgotten what this feels like. Last year at this time, there was draught. My kiddos have been in heaven! They go out and play in the mud, the holes and slide/jump in water everywhere! I've quit stressin' about it and let them have their fun. As they come in, they take off the muddy clothes and then run to the tub. It'll happen a couple more times a day at the least. Yesterday afternoon, my yard looked like this.


And just now, I snapped a picture of the 'mud monster' as he was trying to break in! Notice the huge pile of clothes that have accumulated over the day (or two, lol!) I've gotten some Fizzy Tub Colors that I drop in the water as they bathe making it even more fun. It reminds me of coloring easter eggs as the water turns colors!

Moving up to the front of the line...

Someone started chatting with me on facebook last night and let me know that my former neighbor, MeeMaw, was in a hospice. My neighbor had lived near me for decades...until last year when she moved in with her with of her kids and their family. She's in her late sixties and is currently 'eaten up with cancer.' I immediately went up to see her today and brought flowers. My mother used to always say to bring her flowers while she was alive to enjoy them, not when she's dead (usually in a conversation about someone's funeral.) Of course, I brought my mom lots of flowers (daisies) while she was alive and when she died, I didn't. ...I made sure I brought pretty happy flowers to my neighbor. I told her that I knew she liked narcissis (because we always brought her handfuls from our backyard when she lived next door) but since they weren't in season, I got different ones. She was unrecognizable. Emaciated. Weak. It's only a matter of time. I really like her and still miss her being next door. :(

On the way out, her son talked with us and I had a couple of questions that I didn't want to ask while I was in her room. The plan is to make her as comfortable as possible, possibly let her return to her daughter's home...to die. Her son joked with us (we love using humor in uncomfortable situations) about how many other people he has seen that he knows in this hospice and how many pass away each day. As we are getting older, and so many people are passing away, he joked that we were moving up to the front of the line, so to speak.

My neighbor quit smoking five years ago (after several decades of smoking) and started walking. How unfair that she (and everyone who has cancer) don't have cures yet and that technology hasn't yet caught up with all the cancers of the world.

In addition, a very good aquaintance died this week as well (I didn't actually think of the consequences of joining the Red Hat Ladies that they would actually pass away.) Evelyn was 88 (but didn't look that old at all!)

Of course, I'm thinking of how precious life is and how much I need to savor each day.

My MIL and SIL (a cancer survivor)
Two women I've admired throughout the years.

Building a treefort!

For many years, I've wanted to build a treehouse or a treefort for my kiddos. I had collected plan after plan for seasons on end. When I moved four years ago, I tossed them because I figured I would never get around to eventually doing it. A couple of years ago, my younger brother put a piece of plywood on a couple of limbs of a tree (that I helped plant when I was a little girl.) He and my kiddos climbed up the swimming pool ladder and sat on top of the board and loved it. However, I was afraid that one of them would fall off backwards and get seriously injured or die. So, I needed to rectify that or take the board down. After some long indepth browsing on pinterest, I decided on what I wanted up in the tree (even though I wasn't really the carpenter type.)

So a couple weekends ago, we started the treefort project. First we had to cut down some limbs (which led to cutting down other limbs that were dead and needed to be taken down as well.) The piece of plyboard can be seen in this picture (I forgot to take a 'before' picture.)


Then we cut the limbs into smaller pieces and hauled them out to the road.


Making sure the plyboard was level.


We made the frames for each side. Since the plywood was a 4x8, I put the middle boards 2 foot across. Note to self, if you splurge on a nail gun, spend the extra money to get a really good one (ours kept jamming and took so much extra time between each nailing of each nail.) We learned our lesson.


Then we clamped each side down until we nailed them down (and made sure they all fit snugly.)


In addition to nailing down the frames, we also used these things to secore the frames to the bottom.


All four sides are now up. We left a gap on the side closest to the tree to allow room for the ladder (to get up and down) as well as the kiddos to climb out onto the limb (when they're older.)


We used a compressor to use for the nail gun. The only issue was the weather. It was cold and it took a long time to get the compressor going (and stay going.)


We bought picket fence boards to put along the sides. However, we needed them a certain length and had to cut each of the 48 boards. Of course, it was a labor of love.


Starting the sides. Luckily those Christmas hardware store giftcards came in handy! We got all the clamps and most of the boards with them (we had a stash of them!) It was definitely a family project.



Halfway done.


There were a couple of places where the boards didn't fit exactly. We also cut the length of the picket boards to fit in those places. We didn't know what to use between each board either and used a pencil to mark each space inbetween them.


View from one side of the finished project.


And from the other side. We let my son decide how big the space was going to be. He also determined the height of the picket boards themselves. He gave us a lot of input and was a great help the whole way through.

Valentine's Day

I love this holiday...especially getting my young kiddos ready for their class parties. Perhaps it's the chocolate I love! I am always reminded how special the day used to be when I was young and my dad would give me a candy valentine full of little chocolates. The night before my youngest son's party, he was signing his name (or initial) and picking which valentines go to which classmate. It was a nice calm happy evening.


Of course, the next morning, it's a different story. Apparently, he decided to color his arms (this is the second day in a row...I found his stash of markers and hid them!)


But later, he was his cute self again at his class party. Of course, it'd would have been better if he had smiled before the picture was taken instead of the moment after the flash went off, lol!


But I managed to get a decent picture after all.

The Miracle of Hearing Aids!

Background: My hubby has always had issues with his hearing. He blames it on his older brothers very loud music as a kid. In school, his teachers noticed he was a different kid when his seat was closest to their desks and had his hearing tested (yep, hearing loss.) Fastforward a couple decades, I noticed there were certain kinds of phones we couldn't use because he couldn't hear them ring (as his loss was in the high frequency range.) As we had kids, if he couldn't hear them, I'd repeat to him what they said. It's happened so smoothly that I didn't even notice I did it. The main place there were issues were when we were riding somewhere and he were driving (he coudn't see them or hear them) so I'd tell him what they said. We were always the 'loud family.' Even as I grew up, we were loud. After I married, it was the same. Hubby always says, 'turn it up' when watching tv. Even my older girls are loud, lol! Again, thought nothing of it. Hubby is one of those people who can hear a helicopter coming from miles away and always hears things I couldn't (or didn't really pay attention to.)

Present: Hubby's ear clogged up with earwax last week. He asked me to make an appointment to have it cleaned. I made an appt. with the same doctor I had used at the local Ear, Nose and Throat place. I filled out the paperwork for him (and checked those boxes he'd had issues with in the past such as hearing loss) and made a map of where to go but still, he really wanted me to go with him. Since it was more fun than cleaning at home, I went. Initially, his ear was cleaned and he could hear so much better. But before seeing the doctor, they wanted him to have a hearing test. He has a yearly test at his work (hearing prevention program or something like that) but figured, why not. Then we saw the doctor who explained what the test meant. He had a 75% loss in the high frequency area which means that he could hear a man's voice (and therefore had no issues at work) but couldn't hear the high frequencies such as a female voice or kid voices. Wow. Then the doctor said that he wasn't going to push for hearing aids but that he just wanted him to know that they'd make a huge difference. He had himself just got some the month beforehand. He took one out and showed us (after we showed interest) and I asked how much it cost etc. When the doctor mentioned how much more he can hear and that he can now hear the birds sing, my hubby really showed interest. It was something neither of us had ever considered. They checked out insurance and referred us to another place. The place happened to be the place where I took my mother-in-law to get her hearing aid about 10 years ago. We called and made an appointment for a few days later.

Yesterday: We had an appointment at 10 in the morning and went to the place to check out the hearing aids. We were interested in one similar to what the doctor had (even though it was at the top of the line, he said.) As it turned out, our insurance covered 90%!! Actually, hubby had mentioned that if it hadn't had covered it, he wanted to get them anyway (it would have taken up our savings) so we were thinking that we'd get an idea of how much they'd be and how long it'd take for them to be made. As it turned out....within an hour, he had them! It was incredible watching him. I had absolutely no idea that there was so much that he had been missing! Watching his eyes as they darted around as he heard the noises in the office and the car afterwards was priceless!! He kept saying, "Wow, I can hear!" I told him that it was like a miracle as he never remembers when he could hear that well and to all of a sudden be able to hear everything that other could all along. As opposed to my bloggy friend Rachel who could hear and then all of a sudden couldn't hear. When we got home, the first thing he said was that he could hear the wind blow. And that he could hear the rain hit the roof. I can't even explain how incredible it was listening and watching him as if he were in a brand new world. In the evening, he'd say, "I can hear him" when referring to our kiddo. Of course, the tv is now WAY too loud and all of us are REALLY noisy. It'll take us a long time to learn a new way to live...quieter.

I mentioned last night that I was sad that he was leaving for work this morning (he'll be gone 2 or 3 wks) and I'd be missing all his 'firsts' in his new hearing. He really loves his new hearing aids and said they're very comfortable. I can't believe how much he had been missing (or what exactly he hadn't been able to hear.) I'm so glad I went with him to his appointment and that we asked so many questions. I've haven't seen him this excited in a really long time, if ever.

This is hubby at lunch yesterday right after we left the appointment. You can vaguely see a thin wire from each ear but otherwise, you can't see them.

Rain and more rain...

'Lovin it! Last year, we were in a huge drought and it lasted months on end. This year, it's the opposite. For days it has rained on end! My kids love it! I have a huge pile of wet dirty clothes and shoes on my back porch (I have the kids take most of them off before coming into the house keeping my floors dry and clean!) The mosquitos are EVERYWHERE!!! In taking a few pictures, I was covered and had at least 20 bites before I got back in the house. It has been in the 70s all week until yesterday evening. Here are a few pics I took while feeding the mosquitos. It is getting cooler as they play.



By the time I took this pic, the water was cold and he was just sitting, not moving, lol! He had some mud in his eye too. Warm bubble baths followed.


My favorite.


Why they insist on getting their hair muddy is beyond me! Must be a little boy thing!!


Today, as I write this, they just both came to the back door soak and wet! I helped get their freezing clothes off (as I look at the thermometer on the porch which reads 46 degrees) and then made a warm bath. Their feet and ankles are red and cold. Let's hope this is the last 'outdoor bath' until it's warmer! I am needed in the bathroom (and don't want huge waves splashing out of the tub) so I am done with this.

Words with Friends

I have a friend who kept requesting I play a game with her on Facebook. Since I was already doing an ongoing game, I ignored her requests over and over. Finally, I thought, why not? So, I tried the game, Words with Friends, with her. It was so much fun! It was like Scrabble and you could play as slowly or as quickly as you wanted. When my boyfriend (now husband) and I were young and I was still living at home, he'd come and hang out at the house. We'd often play Scrabble so I have great memories of the game. Of course, I was 16 at the time too! It was many years later when I gave him the game as a gift (Christmas or birthday?) that he finally admitted that he really didn't like the game and that he was just being nice. It might have also been that he disliked it so much because of the fact that I won most of the time too. Nevertheless, even though I don't play well and don't know many of those cool words you need to use to get the most points, I love playing. As soon as I started the game with her, a former high school classmate started a game with me. I think that when you start a game, there's something put on your wall so that it shows up on the news feed so others can see it too. Then, a distant cousin I've never met started one as well. Suddenly, I was getting lots of invitations to play. Within a week, I had finished three games and was in the middle of five. There are those who do a word or two a day and others who have time to do several. I had one game in which a former neighbor and I played back and forth until we finished. It's all so fun and I'm learning a lot of new words! Who knew that there was such a word as 'qi?' I do now!

Waiting in line -

I have to drive my kiddos back and forth to school every day (and they get out at different times.) so I do a lot of waiting in the car pool line. One part I look forward to is the quietness, that is, if I'm alone. I have read more books in this last year than I have ever before. And so I sit. I have my book, my drink, and my reading glasses. Nowadays, I can't go anywhere (or read anything) without them! As I allow a little breeze blow through my car door windows and hear little voices in the foreground, I am reminded that time passes in a blink of an eye. These kids (like my older ones who have already grown up) will be growing up way too fast.

Finally...a contract!!

It has been the plan for over a year to move my mother-in-law from her assisted living facility to a nursing home (and applying for medicaid.) She makes $2K a month but half of that comes from the VA and would not continue if she were in a nursing home therefore her income would be around $1000. Without a break, the cost of her housing and care (for her level) would be about $4500 a month. We had paid around $3500 a month for 2010 (with most of her adult children picking up the tab of the balance each month.) We really couldn't afford it anymore.

But as the year was ending, I was becoming more sad about the move. I procrastinated in finding a suitable place to move her. I did finally make some calls but was dreading the upcoming decisions. The place where she lives is wonderful and the staff that care for her each day are awesome! One even teared up as I discussed the possible move. That's not easy to find...people who are so caring.

Finally, in mid-November, my sister-in-law (one of my MIL's daughters) called and said she felt the same way I did. She suggested I call one more time to see if we could negotiate a deal to allow her to stay a little longer. Yes, we could have moved her and not paid anything but she's happy there, knows where her dining room chair is and seems peaceful. Moving someone with Alzheimers is stressful on them. The less stress, the better.

We communicated back and forth, between local offices and headquarters, through my initial staffmember to the final supervisor who today (after 2 months but better late than never)...gave us the number we could afford. It'll cost us about $2700 month. What a blessing! We can keep her there one more year!!! I feel SO good about this and know that I will be able to sleep better at night now. It's incredible that we can put off this inevitable move at least 11 more months!



A couple weeks ago, my MIL celebrated her 89th birthday. We brought over a little cake for her to eat! She'll smile at the camera if I take the picture because I smile at her and she smiles back. I tried to get my son to take a picture of she and I but she wouldn't look at him or the camera but looked at me next to her instead. I did get one of her and the boys though with her birthday cake which she loved. It was so cute hearing my 'lil ones singing Happy Birthday to her. I fixed her a spot and left a few minutes to check about her looming contract. When I returned, I realized that she wasn't able to eat very well by herself (the table was kinda low) so I fed her the rest. She just loves desserts and particularly, birthday cake. It's another blessing that she lived another year and could celebrate another birthday.

Where have I been looking?

I thought I was someone who noticed details. Obviously, I don't notice as much as I thought I did. I'm much better at noticing other's expressions or moods than I am at observing the environment. Why am I even mentioning this? Because lately, as my preschooler's vocabulary explodes, he points out many things in which I have never paid attention. As I went to get my allergy shot the other day, I took him with me. He got so excited when he saw the breaker box outside mounted on the side of the building. He proudly and excitedly announces, Look, it's a breaker box!! Who is this kid anyway, lol! I mentioned to my hubby a few weeks ago that he starts asking questions as soon as he wakes up and finally stops as he goes to sleep late at night.

One segment of time today...
I pick him up from (pre-k) school and as soon as he gets into the car, he starts asking about the vent in the dashboard in the car. Is that a vent? Each time he gets in the car, he asks about the vent, the buttons, the light, and the radio button. By the time we get down the driveway to the road, I've reinterated what he already knew. He asked whether something was (it's name) and I said that it was (whatever it was.) As we turn onto the road, today's focus of attention were drains. While driving down the curb and guttered road, he pointed out the first drain (those cut out spots covered by a manhole on the edge of the road.) I have never really paid attention to them. He asked, Is that a drain? Yes, it is, I answer, over and over. There were so many... I started pointing them out to him before he began asking and he'd giggle. As we drive, he also points out his favorite things to me: cellphone towers and cameras on traffic lights. Between those, he also asks, What does that sign say? STOP. What does that sign say? Speed Limit 45 What does that sign say? Target What does that sign say? No Parking What does that sign say? Dunkin Donuts. Wait, go back, go back! Apparently, he saw something he wanted to show me but I passed it up. Nope...not going back! I distract him by showing him a concrete truck (although it doesn't last long.)

I love his little voice asking questions. I know this phase won't last so I soak it in until it passes. Sometimes it's frustrating when he stops mid stride and won't budge until I answer his questions. He looks up in the entrance of a restaurant, for example, and it starts...he points out every fire or smoke alarm, every fire pull station (whatever it's called where you pull if there's a fire,) each security moniter, every fire extinguisher, each vent in the wall or ceiling and each speaker where sound comes out! And that's what he sees before we're seated. It's almost as if he sees the things I miss. I just have never noticed the things he loves.

Moments of Christmas

Uploaded my pictures from the days before, during and after Christmas and just loved looking at them. Before Christmas, we made lots of sweet treats to eat (and give away.) Here is my youngest helping me made some cookies. He was great company to me while I made them, a wonderful helper and taster and fun entertainment. I took several pictures of him and after each time, he wanted to see what he looked like on the display on the other side of the camera. It seemed that each picture got sillier and sillier! We ended up making about five containers of cookies etc. for our friends and family. I'm thinking that next year, if we eat fewer (lol!) I could probably make at least seven for others! I wouldn't have to lose at least five to ten pounds if I had done that as well.


Going to visit my mother-in-law and spending their celebration with families at the assisted living facility. She loved the different desserts and gobbled them all up! Santa made an appearance there too and my kids were able to tell him what they wanted for Christmas. The event and the many people around were really nice but at one point was overwhelming for her and she started to cry (she's used to routine even though she really isn't aware of what's happening around her.) She opened up a couple presents while we were there as well.



Putting out reindeer food for the reindeer on Christmas Eve. It was cold and raining outside but we managed to get their food out nevertheless!


Opening presents! You don't often see this...my teenager (ok, she's 20, I should probably say 'young adult?!?') smiling! Not just smiling, but smiling for a picture!


My first grader putting together a crane! He opened the box and was putting the pieces together! It's been probably the toy that has kept him occupied the longest thus far!



My brother surprised me with a cedar chest he (and his son) had refinished for me. He had mentioned the need for a coffee table and this was a perfect solution (plus it can hide our multiple blankets we keep around the living room!)



Here he is opening a present I got him (an book he had been wanting to read that had been autographed by the author.)


Later, my other daughter came over and I took a picture of my two daughter together (before they left doing their own thing again.)


In the evening, one of my younger brothers came over with his family. Unfortunatley, my camera was set on a weird setting so if you moved the slightest, the picture became blurry. This pic is the best I could get by cropping everyone else out.


I am very blessed to have a nice family. I hear about others and their dysfunctional families whose chaotic mountains made out of tiny molehills, so to speak. I don't have a large family but I'm happy for the one I do have. I hope everyone else had a nice holiday season as well!