My Brother Died.......And Another gets a Medal...

I got the call a couple few weeks ago that my middle brother had been found dead.

There was a long week of grieving, crying, numbness, and sadness until the wake and funeral.

My oldest brother and I seemed lost. We made those kind of decisions you don't ever want to make together along with my husband. Strengthening our bond and sharing our sorrow...

My youngest brother had a family crisis that meant he couldn't attend the funeral and he wasn't there to process any of these emotions or hear any stories...the things that help you move forward.

Soon afterward, I flew out to be with him and his kids during this tough time.

Since this is so fresh, anything can trigger a memory. Suddenly, I can be crying.

I will have to clear out my brother's home (the one who passed away.) When I see a toothbrush, I think about his toothbrush being in his shower...waiting. I will have to return his mail to the sender and write Deceased on the front. I will have to throw away his trash and remember the pizza boxes from the pizza I sent to him a day before he died. Every time I see someone like him on the road, I do a double take. This is my middle brother...I took this picture from his Facebook page. He loved to garden.

My SIL (from the farm) and I wrote the obituary. Here is an excerpt: "(Brother) will be most remembered for his love of his family and he especially enjoyed spending time with his nephews and nieces. He was a kind man with a generous soul. (Brother) wanted those around him to be happy and he would give the shirt off his back to help someone in heed. He dearly loved animals, but horses, were, by far, his favorite. (Brother) loved riding, being around them, taking care of them, and working with them. (Brother) also had a passion for working with his hands and for gardening."


I miss him. A lot.

A week later, I continue this draft on this post...

While I am helping out my youngest brother, I learn that he was getting a medal in a ceremony at an aircraft hanger at the military base where he lives and works. I was incredibly proud. It was the third highest award bestowed upon members in the US military. They asked me to pin it on his uniform. Of course, absolutely, I didn't hesitate and was honored to pin it. He's worked hard in his career in the military and has been in it for almost two decades. While the reasons I am here were bittersweet, it turned out to be a blessing. It was good to hang out, grieve and share memories with him. I will leave here in a few days and go back home...



I need to remember to always be grateful for all the blessings in my life and those people who are alive and still here to share it with me.

Moving on...