Blah...I am totally feeling blah. You know that feeling you get after a huge event or when a stressful situation finally ends, that's where I am right now. I just want to sit and watch tv (not think), avoid calls and do nothing. Blah. I know, totally not possible... This has been a rough month, and my stress is lessening.

I know, there are so many great things in my life for me to be thankful for...I know I am very blessed. But for today, I just want to mourne the past and tomorrow I will start moving forward again.

On the upside, my nephew came over today and nudged me to go walking. We all went walking and the exercise made me feel a little better. I need to do that more often.

Sleep like a rock? I think not! It took forever for me to go to sleep last night!I kept thinking about some serious situations and issues currently involving close people in my life so I wasn't able to turn it off like I normally would. Then, I awoke to the firing of a handgun. I rethink, was it five, then two shots? I saw a truck next door with it's lights on so I knew that if something really 'bad' happened, my neighbor would let me know. And, I wasn't going to go outside after hearing shots. Later, a thunderstorm came and lots of rain woke up my dog, who is deathly afraid of thunder. So, she whimpered for quite a while. For some reason, my toddler decided to wake up as well. My teenager was 'feeling lonely,' so she crawled in my room on the floor with her comforter (more noise.) The one thing I did not hear...was the alarm clock! Maybe, I should say, I ended up sleeping like a ...pebble!

My friend died today. Just a few short weeks ago, he found out he had cancer and now he's gone. This last week was hard for him and he was in a lot of pain; they had stopped treatment of any kind as his prognosis was not good. It was a good day to die...there were thundershowers and heavy rain in our area, but then the sun came out and the day brightened. I'll miss you, Jim.

My daughter is sixteen years old today!!! I remember clearly the day she was born, beautiful spring day, and the weather was beautiful. I had begun the morning by swinging my older daughter from the swing in the front yard. I proceeded to labor with her all day and helped it out by walking at the mall. I realized I was in full labor when I wasn't able to walk through the pain anymore and would stop and pretend I was windowshopping when a contraction came. I went home, called my doctor, and within two hours, she was here!!! She was a bundle of joy, and still is, on most days! Where does the time go? I wouldn't trade her for the world. Happy Birthday Sarah!!

Life is short. Don't waste your time and make every minute count! I have often heard those words and but don't think of them as often as I should. I have a friend who just barely made it though an anneurism surgery without any complications (whew!) only to find out during his follow-up visit and x-rays that he now has back cancer. It caught him and his wife by surprise and they're devestated. I'll be sending them positive thoughts and prayers, and remembering the value of life and it's precious moments to cherish througout the day. I think I'll visit my mother-in-law today. I'll spend those extra minutes I'd be watching tv just visiting and sharing my day with her, as she loves company.

My strongest memories of childhood. Someone asked that question earlier...and after pondering, I came up with theses:

My parents always bought me new kid tool each spring (rake, hoe and shovel.) I thought it was so cool that I could use mine in the garden just like my dad.

My mom used to call me her rare gem. It was a very special pet name. When I smell chanel number 5, I think of my mom.

Around Christmas one year, I pretended to be asleep on the floor when I was about nine. My father picked me up and brought me to bed. My dad must have been in his mid-sixties at that time but didn't say anything about it...he just picked me up and tucked me into bed.

Going to bakeries in new towns...my mom had a sweet tooth and loved real danish (like she used to have up north) so we'd alway go check them out.

Smelling food when I came home from school from my parent(s) cooking.

Playing with my older brother in the yard, making treehouses, making mudpies, and riding our bikes on the trails in neighboring vacant lots.

Getting to go shopping twice a year for schoolclothes and/or shoes (once before school, and once in the spring near Easter.)

Watching my dad get ready for work every morning. He was a painter (he was actually a painter superintendent but I didn't know that as a kid) and always wore white long sleeved shirts and white pants with his company's patch on the front pocket.

The smell of Seaport coffee brewing each morning.

In the evening, I'd help take off my dad's boots (lace-up type with paint marks.) He'd tell me how great it was that I did that (and other things like bring him a glass of ice water) and how, one day, he'd dance at my wedding. Being as I grew up Baptist (who don't believe in dancing,) as I walked alone with my dad up to the building of the church where I was married, I stopped and reminded him of his promise. We stood there, outside on the sidewalk, and danced before going in and walking down the aisle.

First sentence! My toddler completed his first real sentence today which consisted of four words. Most of his words are incomprehendible but there are a few that I can translate to figure out what he wants. Today, he said, "Ba'ho cu tees down" which translate to: Backhoe cuts trees down. You can tell that backhoes are some of his favorite things...I'm so proud! :)

What a beautiful day!! Today, we made a vegetable garden. It took twice as long as it would have normally taken to make it, but my toddler helped a whole lot! I think we will have a lot more corn than we will ever need since 'just one or two' to my toddler means as much as he can grab before I take it all away. So, we'll eventually have red potatoes, green beans, green peppers, cherry tomatoes, corn and mustard greens. We're not expecting much more cold weather so hopefully, in a few months, we'll be eating fresh veggies. It feels good to create something and watch it develop to it's full potential.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Growing up, my father used to always buy us a candy filled valentine! It was something I looked forward to every year! Those red valentine shaped boxes with different kinds of chocolate inside, mmmmmm! I loved to take just gobble each one up, or if I didn't like it so much, I'd just take a bite out of it and then put it back. Passing out valentines in class was my second favorite thing to do as well as receiving them. It was so much fun making little valentine holders to put them in when the time came to pass them out. It's such a great holiday filled with my childhood memories.

For this year, my hubby will pick me some beautiful narcissus out of the yard and put them in a vase for me in the morning as well as make me some oatmeal. It always tastes better when he makes it. That's all I requested. I've written a long card and hid it near where he makes his coffee in the morning to surprise him.

It's gonna be a great day!

I have a new bicycle! I requested one for Christmas and I picked it out myself. I also bought a front bicycle seat for my toddler along with matching helmets. I'm in heaven!! Updated with a side mirror, I want to ride like the wind! I wish there were bike paths in my neighborhood so that I could ride safer, but I ride when there are few people out and when most are at work. I'm trying to convince my brother or my hubby to ride with me but so far, no takers. For now, it'll just be me, my toddler, and the numerous backhoes and lawnmowers to point out along the way!!

My toddler got his first haircut yesterday!! He hates to get his hair combed or brushed, so we end up straightening his hair with our fingers every day. It's easier now that it's much shorter. My hubby took him to his barber and he sat there and was very cooperative and I was very impressed! It seems he's becoming a 'big boy!'

As I sit here and check my email and read my favorite bloggings, I listen to the baby moniter. I can hear my toddler snore. It's the sound of the cutest little voice you've ever heard. I look forward to my 'alone' time so that I can catch up on little things in the evening and tend to try to forget him while he's sleeping. But just listening to the baby snore sound (btw, he's getting over a little cold) makes me smile.

It's so hard to do the right thing sometimes. It's easy to differentiate whether it's the right thing or not, but following through can be difficult. A situation came up over the weekend regarding my daughter. Two of her friends and her were involved in a scheme and went somewhere and lied to each of the parents. We're talking...breaking municipal curfew, being passengers in a vehicle (who knows whether the driver was under the influence), being in a dangerous part of town, and being in a situation with guys where they were vulnerable. My daughter felt uncomfortable and called to be picked up. She was supposed to be at her friend's house. I took them both home.

(After two days of being sick, I was able to go do the right thing.) The hardest part was telling the parents. The look in the parents' eyes with disappointment and confusion. One dad said he had suspected it for a while (that the daughter was sneaking out) but had no proof. The other mom was in a panic and couldn't understand that her daughter had lied to her. It was so sad...

Yep, my daughter will be in the doghouse with her friends, and may them as friends, which may not be a bad thing. But, I feel secure in the knowledge that had I may have saved those lives and/or undue stress/trauma by telling their parents.

And in twenty years, when they are parents of teenagers, they'll hopefully remember this and thank me.

It's so hard to do the right thing sometimes. It's easy to differentiate whether it's the right thing or not, but following through can be difficult. A situation came up over the weekend regarding my daughter. Two of her friends and her were involved in a scheme and went somewhere and lied to each of the parents. We're talking...breaking municipal curfew, being passengers in a vehicle (who knows whether the driver was under the influence), being in a dangerous part of town, and being in a situation with guys where they were vulnerable. My daughter felt uncomfortable and called to be picked up. She was supposed to be at her friend's house. I took them both home.

(After two days of being sick, I was able to go do the right thing.) The hardest part was telling the parents. The look in the parents' eyes with disappointment and confusion. One dad said he had suspected it for a while (that the daughter was sneaking out) but had no proof. The other mom was in a panic and couldn't understand that her daughter had lied to her. It was so sad...

Yep, my daughter will be in the doghouse with her friends, and may them as friends, which may not be a bad thing. But, I feel secure in the knowledge that had I may have saved those lives and/or undue stress/trauma by telling their parents.

And in twenty years, when they are parents of teenagers, they'll hopefully remember this and thank me.

A great morning! I got a few things accomplished...I had been putting off two errands for months and finally got them taken care of, so I was very satisfied with my end to procrastination in that department!! Then I went to Target and got a few giftcards for friends. Each time I go to Target with my toddler, we always get popcorn and a drink. It keeps his fingers occupied while I shop as fast as I can until he remembers that there are many backhoes and trucks there in the toy department. We were able to escape without much drama and were in there for a total of about 10 minutes!! In the parking lot, I noticed a few birds eating morsels of food. I unloaded my bag and purse from the basket and was getting ready to transfer my toddler, but he had other plans in mind. He wanted to watch the birds. We ended up standing by the vehicle (fortunately, he was still buckled in the cart seat) for at least 20 minutes. It was so fun!! I didn't have a time schedule and we threw bits of popcorn down for the birds. And I kept showing him the different birds while observing their run/walk/movement to the popcorn! Eventually, he realized that loud monster noises make birds move away very fast! And that was that!!

I had my house leveled this week. It was getting unlevel due to age and sinking (it's rather wet where I live most of the year.) It needs to be done about every 5 years but it hadn't been done in at least 13 years. It's amazing how you can spill something now and it will not automatically run a certain way across the floor quickly. Now, it just sits in a puddle like it is supposed to. True, there are some sheetrock cracking, but it feels great!

Today was a windy pleasant day. It's that kind of weather you wish could be repeated over and over.

What a beautiful day!! It's finally sweater weather!! My toddler likes to dig, dig, dig!!! He takes his backhoe outside and digs in the yard (sometimes for hours.) Finally, leaves are beginning to fall.


It appears that my mother-in-law will probably be discharged from her rehabilitation hospital this weekend/Monday. She will be very happy, although she is nowhere near where she was before her surgery, hopefully, she will feel more at peace in her own home. I've been cleaning her home for a couple of weeks now. Wow! What a bunch of 'unnecessary stuff' she has around her rooms!! While I have enjoyed someone else taking care of her while she was the hospital, it puts so much pressure on me when she returns home as I'm the only one who can go to her when she needs something. It's good to see her alive and doing better though.

My mother-in-law broke her hip this morning. I spent all day at the hospital. I packed a huge bag of stuff to entertain the toddler, and it worked. It's the MIL who needed something to do. She carved a habit at home day in and day out so whenher schedule is changed, she feels out of whack. Not being able to get up certainly made it uncomfortable. The weekend accident is untimely too as most people in the hospital work Monday through Friday too. She's a frail and onery 83 year old who needs lots of attention. I hope she hads her surgery in a couple days and in a week or so, is back to *normal.* I'm SO tired today after getting up and down all day chasing the toddler, chasing nurses, and feeding MIL (who is in a lot of pain.) Hope tomorrow is better!!!

I'm so tired. Having a teenager takes a toll, especially when they don't live up to their potential. There are so many things I wish I could *change* regarding my teen. But at this age, I have to be strong, never falter, and be a good role model. You know, I haven't been grounded since I was a teen. But when you groung your kid, it's as if you're grounded too. So, I think I'll be grounded for months!!! I guess it'll be a good way to save money, who knows? :)

Each morning and afternoon, I take a walk around my neighborhood. I pack up my toddler, grab a frozen bottle of water, a dumptruck for him to play with and take off. He used to hate to ride around in the stroller, but lately, he hasn't complained. We stop at the park and play in the rocks and slide down the slide. Since it has been a tad cooler, it makes it much more enjoyable. Today's adventure was pulling moss off of rocks...it seemed to take up a long time and kept his interest. It's funny what things catch your eye. There are times we walk by a place and not notice anything in particular and then as if it magically appears, we notice something of interest.

I have acquired passengers along our daily trek too. My brother, nephew, or husband will accompany me at times depending on their schedules. Even the dog... It's kinda like having dinner together with everyone describing their day, recent happenings, or just smalltalk. I love it!!!