Little bumps in the night lately have had me 'on edge.' I'm sure there have always been noises at night like the ice machine in the refrigerator dumping cubes, wood floors cracking, freezer compressors making noises... Now that our dog Fatty has passed on and is no longer with us, I lack the security I once felt when I knew she always barked if someone knocked on the door. Often, I'm the only parent at home with the kids and now that my younger daughter works (and usually until late hours,) I am essentially home alone. I think I began feeling more insecure just this week when my daughter spent the night with a friend a couple nights (it's Spring Break.) Just knowing she was gone made it even more lonely. I can see why she 'gets scared' if we go out of town and leave her home alone (which we've done twice...hey, she's 18.) There hasn't been any safety (or rather non-safety) issues around my house, per se, but I think I'll check into more lighting outside the house. That reminds me, I haven't changed my smoke detector batteries lately (not since we moved here a year ago.) I need to add that to my list to make it more safe at home.

Ignorance is bliss... I was watching the news recently when I heard a story about a man who pled guilty and was sentenced to 60 years in prison for the murdering someone a few years ago. What made it seem familiar was that I knew the man...I had worked with him as a teen many times over and over in my job in my former life (before resigning to have more children.) Everyone I worked with was on juvenile parole and since there are so many people being charged and sentenced, my vaguesness helps protect his identity. This particular teen was one of the first ones I worked with and I got to know his entire family as well. Long after he outgrew the parole supervision, and then moved on to adult probation for more offences, I still saw his mom here or there and spoke with her. He never changed and still had the same types of behavior that got him locked up and paroled in the first place. About three or four years ago, he and his family moved into a housing project close by my house and he was walking by my house on my road. He recognized me (playing with my kid in the front yard) and stopped to talk. We spoke for about 15 minutes. While I was friendly and jumped into my former probation officer role while talking, I couldn't help thinking...OMG, he knows where I live! He was one of those kids who smoked weed way too much, hung out with the wrong crowd, didn't do well in school...those kind you know won't make it and didn't have the consistency from home or the resources to keep him in line. And you can't do anything about it because there were others just like them going down the same road to failure and I had to do as much as I could in as little time as possible.

It's interesting to watch the local news as I listen for names and many, many times, I recognize someone I used to work with. I have lost count of the ones I've worked with at one time who were sent to prison for life or for the majority of their lives. Even a couple on death row. It's not that I or my agency didn't do a good job, per se, but most of the time, by the time I started working with them, the damage had already been done.

While I really miss what I used to do and that career, I don't miss knowing those criminals and their crimes. I have since been able to drive down a road and not know this newer generation of kids and their crimes/families/background. I don't want to know, actually. I prefer to be ignorant. I know too many people who've done terrible things and too much about what goes on behind closed doors, so to speak.

But, I do stay in the back yard now, not in the front, just in case.

I love tomato plants! I don't necessarily like to eat tomatoes, love them cooked, but am just starting to like tomatoes themselves. I love, love, love the smell of the plants (and tomatoes as they grow.) This year, I mentioned something to my husband who was so nice to plant some for me. We spent a few hours planting them: finding pebbles for the bottom of the pots, then he put a layer of sand, then a layer of a special dirt, a garden mix. My husband has a special kind of dirt that he uses for all his plants. As he shoveled some to use for the pots, it was full of huge worms (which means it's really great dirt!) I am so grateful for him to spend so much time on a simple request. If we get lots of tomatoes, he can use them to trade for haircuts as his barber loves tomatoes too. In the past, he's bartered haircuts for vegetables. Now that both he and my preschooler get haircuts at the same place, it's a great idea! And I don't have to walk far to enjoy the great smell that I love so much. It was a great family project that we all enjoyed.




Lots of worms!

We went to a get-together with co-workers from my husband's work yesterday in Louisiana. I had only met one guy he worked with and was a little anxious. It was a crawfish boil and we needed to travel a few hours to get there. We planned on spending the night afterwards. Unfortunately, the weather didn't cooperate. It was really cold and rainy. Fortunately, they had a tent outside next to their carport so there was room for everyone to stand where they wouldn't get wet. The co-worker harvested the crawfish that morning from his crawfish farm located right next to his property just across the yard. My preschooler loved walking over to see the crawfish field and the horses roaming near it. There was a huge dirt pile in the yard too and a couple other boys so he was in heaven all afternoon. It was nice meeting many friendly people (not too many, which was good) and eating lots of crawfish! They also had sausage, corn, potatoes and mushrooms that they boiled...yummy! Luckily, I had brought plenty of warm outerwear for the kids (complete with hats, mittens and slippers for the baby to go over his socks.) After several hours, we couldn't stand the cold anymore and just wanted to get warm. The hotel was nice enough to cancel our reservations and we weren't out that money so we drove back home last night. It was good to be home again and sleep in our own room.

Time to clean out my pantry and cabinets! NO, not my idea...but since my little crawler has, in the last few weeks, become mobile and curious, everything has been emptied!!! And my floors...I can't count the times I've swept and vacuumed more in the last week. I have no idea where little pieces of whatever show up on my floor but I guess having a big brother who loves to play outside and go in and out has something to do with it! I am currently listening to my cabinet door opening and closing, over and over again (and then a sound of a pan hitting the floor.)

Pinatas and brisket! We went to a birthday party yesterday for a friend's son who turned two. My friend spent eight years trying to have this baby (and that time included another child who was born premature and died within hours of being born.) Finally, they have a wonderful child who is strong and has survived at least two heart surgeries. He is precious, handsome and definitely loved. It was nice going and celebrating his life and spending time with his family/extended families. There was lots of food and pinatas (of course, he's Hispanic!) I had no idea how much fun pinatas were. Lately, I've been to two parties which included them. This one allowed kids to line up from smallest to largest and take a whack at the pinata. By the time the oldest kid got his turn, he was able to break it and they all politely rushed in to grab some candy. Little bags were given so they could collect their treasures. It took place in my friend's back yard and they had an inflatable bouncy thing for the kids to jump in. My preschooler spent most of his time in there. It was a good day!

My daughters obtained jobs this week...just happened to be the same place! They both went job-searching on Monday together. Luckily, they each obtained positions at the same place at a local upscale restaurant (the older as a server and the younger as a hostess.) My oldest daughter is one of those people who are very friendly, fit into any situation and is an extrovert, a perfect choice for a server. My other daughter can pretend to be sincere very well and has a great smile. She's not server material (that's too fast paced and stressful so the hostess position is perfect for her.) I'm hoping it works out for the both of them.

Independence! My baby has just begun to crawl and turn over. He's 11 months. He's never really needed to before. I realized months ago that sometimes in the middle of the night, he wanted to turn over because he was uncomfortable. So I would turn him over after he woke up and he continued to sleep. With this new found independence, now when he wakes up, he starts crawling around or just turning over. Luckily, I have babyproofed the area. Last night, when he woke up, he made no noise. Apparently, he woke up, closed the door all the way and moved around a bit. I woke up at 3:46am to use the bathroom and found this cute image.

It's Survivor night! I love watching Survivor. Not so much because it's a fun reality show but because it always means I'm getting together with people I love. We used to go to a friend's house and cook/eat dinner and then watch it together. After I started having kids again, their nighttime schedule didn't mesh with our plans so we started staying home instead. Then, my brother and his son started coming over and we started the ritual over again. I think I'll make chili later...

I'm no Betty Crocker! I'm barely an average cook. I haven't really taken a lot of interest over the years to become really great at cooking. Now, baking is another story...as evident by my extra pounds and my love of 'licking the bowl.' I love to eat someone else's cooking. I like to sit and watch them cook too. I love that people can just add this or that to make food better, like an artist.

I've noticed lately that I look forward to going to a nearby grocery store because it has an area where someone actually cooks something (and hands out samples.) They do it in such a way that if you like it, they give you the recipe and everything you need for that dish is sitting right there as well (you don't have to backtrack and find ingredients.) I've now enjoyed at least three different dishes and would have never thought to make them had it not been me sampling them first. Today's dish was southwest chili which included chicken and black beans. It was yummy! Of course, I'm going to be trying it out probably tomorrow evening at home.

My preschooler has been coughing for about three weeks now. Not too bad, that is, until yesterday. All day long, he coughed and coughed! I finally got the right recipe together to get him better...because for this cough, medication, cool mist humidifier and triaminic vapor fan. After 12 hours, in his room all evening and night, I woke up to hearing nothing. I even laid with him for over an hour between 1 and 230am last night listening to him cough. It was so quiet that I actually walked in to make sure he was breathing. What a sigh of relief. It was nice to hear him not suffer anymore.

Meanwhile, the baby went from grumpy to sick. I ended up calling the nurse at our pediatrician to give his symptoms and ask about a rash that had been on his back a couple of weeks. It didn't seem to concern me, per se, but I figured that I ought to kill two birds with one stone by asking questions. They suggested I go ahead and come on in. It ended up being a type of excema and hopefully it'll go away after the dry winter. Poor thing also had an ear infection. I had no idea. No wonder he wasn't himself. He, who usually wakes up smiley and happy, had just a half smile this morning.

What's that, yep, it's my voice cracking as it feels like I'm getting a sore throat. Joy.

I helped my husband cut down our neighbor's branches off of her tree (they were huge pecan limbs hanging off) because they had been damaged since Hurricane Ike. My husband has about 4 chain saws (maybe more?) and my neighbor had just moved in about 6 months ago or more and lives there with her pre-teen daughter. We spent all morning there cutting limbs into small pieces to pick up and attaching lines to make sure they fell in the right spot (I helped on that part but did a lot of watching overall.) It was nice to help out someone who really needed it. She offered to pay but it was what neighbors do for each other. We did accept the dozen cupcakes she brought over yesterday though. Mmm...

You know that smell that brings you back to a specific memory! Well, Early this morning, while I was laying down nursing my baby, I smelled 'my dad' on my shirt. Dad died in 1994 and he was a hard worker. Even after a long day's work at his job, he often worked outside in the garden and had a certain 'smell.' It wasn't body odor, per se, but a smell/scent of hard work and fresh air. I had smelled it once before while I was at the zoo years ago. It was a warm day and while walking through a corridor, I smelled him. I stopped in my tracks and to try to catch it again. I walked back and forth and finally realized that it was me. I had sweated in such a way, combined with my shirt and detergent that it smelled just like him. And again, last night, I smelled it again. It was such a comforting smell because I loved my dad and it was a wonderful treat to be able to smell a smell that brought me back such vivid memories of him.

I'm just so sad today. Moreso than yesterday when we had to euthanize our sick dog. She had been battling tumors in her sinus cavity and subsequent infections surrounding the area. She was a trooper though. Without going through a lot of detail, I know it must have been uncomfortable for months. We would have gone on until it became too much for her but then she stopped eating. It seems odd to just call her a dog, she was a member of our family for 9 or 10 years. She had her routine in the mornings (something I really missed this morning) and was such a great companion. While I am not a dog person, I think sometime in the last decade, I became one..... My eyes water just writing this... I think I'll watch a dvd or do something so I don't have to think of her right now. I miss Fatty.

I went on a trip today and hit the jackpot! I found the cemetery where many of my dad's ancestors were buried. I found my grandfathers, great grandfather(and great grandmother's) grave along with great aunts and uncles. A few others are probably related but I'm not sure yet. I took pictures for further examination and just because I was so psyched that I actually found them!!! Gotta love the internet!!! I would still be in the dark about my father's whole branch of the family tree without all the resources from the web. I am really enjoying this researching stuff!

I snore!! I didn't know that I did (well, when I'm really tired and sleeping on my back, I do.) Apparently, I do more than that (and when I'm on my side) and even woke the baby up. Maybe that explains his frequent wakings in the middle of the night?!? So, I bought some breathe-right strips and tried them (last night was the second night) and we actually slept late - he only woke up about 3 times! Perhaps that was the problem all along, and it wasn't the baby after all! Ugh!! I've lost so many hours of sleep not knowing that I was the cause of his wakings?!? I am keeping my fingers crossed that his brain forgets to wake up at all hours of the night and goes with his tummy and sleeps deeper (and hopefully he'll transition to not waking at all!!) This is such a revelation!

Batman lives with me now! He wears his Batman costume all day long (and today, he even went with the baby and I to Target, my mother-in-law's doctor appointment and the grocery store.) He helped open doors, waved at his fans and enjoyed his popularity. Right now, he is wearing his pajamas (along with his Batman gloves and belt...only because I said he couldn't sleep in it all.) It's great to be 4!!

I got into a cleaning mood today! Ok, so it was because my baby found 'something' on the carpet and decided to chew on it. I have great carpet that hides everything so I didn't even see wherever it came from or how he got it. So, I began vacuuming the carpet, then took the hose and went around every little corner of each piece of furniture and baseboard. My mom used to always say, 'a job worth doing is worth doing well.' Today's chore would have made her proud. It definitely made myself proud!!! Now, on to another room tomorrow. I'm not ready for any kind of 'flylady' habit, but this is a tiny little start.

Sometimes I just get caught up in researching ancestry. My mother did a paper in college about her relatives (names and anecdotes)but no dates or places. She called the only relative left to have accurate information and wrote everything down and drew a family tree. That was 20 years ago.

Shortly thereafter, before my dad died, I asked him the same kind of questions. My dad has always been terrible about dates, times and names. He couldn't even remember his kids' birthdays. Not that he didn't care, but he just wasn't great at that kind of information. I got as much information as I could. Basically, I know his dad's name and a probable grandfather's name. That's it. Since he was born in 1911, the information isn't as readily available. That just may be a short branch.

Regarding my mom's family, I found a whole patch of relatives from St. Johns Newfoundland (and spots to find records there.) It's just so time-consuming. Just when I think I find something, it doesn't match up. Then I realize, my kitchen really needs cleaning and then I stop. While I really enjoy researching and imagining life then, I have to organize my time better. The best time is when everyone is asleep at night (I don't have to fight over computer time or stop to get someone a drink) but then, by that time, I'm tired and sometimes just want to do nothing.

But, it's something new and exciting...something that makes me happy this week.

I sometimes forget about doing things. I gave my preschooler a banana for a snack. He came back and let me know that he didn't know how to open it. I had just given him the banana without peeling it first. I showed him how to open it by using my fingernail to break it open so that it could be peeled. He quickly downed it and then later asked for another. I gave him another and again showed him how to open the peeling. He told me, "Wow, you're a good banana peeler!" You know, that was the best compliment I've had in a long time! He was so sincere too... :)

I like to read...it's just time consuming. I know it's supposed to be...but once I get started, I like to finish in a matter of a few days or I begin to forget important details. I used to go walking for exercise and listen to books on tape (when they were still audiotapes.) I loved doing that (and will eventually get back to that when I get some time each day with someone else watching my little one(s).) I started a book years ago and somehow never finished listening to it. I still wonder how it ended and will need to buy the book (or CD) to that I know how it ends. It reminds me of the commercial with the camera (with pictures inside just waiting to get printed.) After spending some of my Target giftcard on two more books last week, I need to get back into the habit of reading (or these books will also sit on the shelf with the other unread books.) I haven't taken the opportunity in years to just sit and read. Maybe when the kids are in school, gone all day, I'll then read...while I wish they were home again.

My Christmas present to myself was a Garmin GPS. I used to like to get lost when I was younger. I'd drive in a neighborhood and find my way out, and then into bigger cities and finding alternate routes. It used to be exciting and different! Now that I'm older, I don't enjoy getting lost. With the invention of mapquest, I am a printing queen! I will print directions just in case. What sealed my choice this season on a guiltless gift I can splurge on, was trying to get from point A to point B (and mapquest didn't help.) I read over those directions and couldn't find my way out of a subdivision to a wedding (and didn't want to be late.) I had to eventually follow someone to the location. On the way back to the subdivision, I followed a car (whose occupants lived far away) and their gps took them directly where they needed to be. What a lifesaver!!

I have been without an electric can opener for years (I don't use many cans and it didn't seem to be a priority.) Last week, I cooked three recipes that required at least two or three cans (of stuff) each. Well, I definitely found the time and made it a priority to buy one. I was glad it was under $10 and figured I should have gotten one a long time ago. Aaaww!

I love gadgets that make my life easier!!

Crack! Pop! It seems that I feel like the tin man sometimes (from the Wizard of Oz!) Maybe I need a little oil, lol! My knees, elbows and ankles pop when I get up from somewhere or move positions. I guess it's just part of getting older. I would rather my bones not pop while I'm sneaking out of a room (after putting my kid to sleep though.)

"Thanks for being a Mom." That's what was said to me at the end of a conversation I was dreading. An incident occurred this past weekend with my daughter and her friend. My daughter drives and her friend used that to her advantage. Her friend left and got into another guy's car while having my daughter wait for her to return. As it turned out, the girl took a long time and ignored her phone calls and texts, wanting to spend more time with her 'friend.' They were at a nearby dark park... My daughter ended up leaving her and the friend's parents came and got her. I became concerned when my daughter hadn't called to let me know they arrived at their destination so I called her. She was upset and said she was coming home. She said she didn't know what to do (when it was happening.) The girl's stuff was still in the car too. I told my daughter that she knows what she needs to do...(hoping her moral compass would let her know what to do.) I don't really think she wanted to know what to do...she just wanted her friend to be nice to her and do that anymore (without having to say 'no' to her.)

I wasn't sure what story was told to the friend's parents but I needed to let them know what really happened. I knew the friend's address and used that info to get their last name and then their phone number (I love the internet that way.) I explained what had happened (as I knew it from what my daughter had said.) Fortunately, her parents were already alerted by cues from the friend beforehand and were already thinking she was planning something. We exchanged lots of phone numbers and vowed to call each other in the event they spend the night with each other in the future. The friend will, of course, not allowed to hang out with her friends like my daughter for a while, and has already had her cellphone taken away.

Ahh..teenagers. This is what keeps me young, lol!

My 'lil Santa!

I had a very merry Christmas and ate way too much! I should finally get some sleep after staying up late for days leading up to the much anticipated holiday! Now, the clean-up begins....tomorrow.

Today is my favorite day of the year! It's Christmas Eve...I make wassail, play Christmas music, watch Christmas shows on tv, leave the Christmas lights on all day, read Christmas stories to the kids, finish up wrapping presents, and bake cookies...lots and lots of Christmas cookies!

I found a local radio station that plays Christmas songs all day every day. I think it has been doing that for several years but I had forgotten. I find myself turning it on each day now...and this afternoon, finally realized why. While driving around returning from an errand with my boys in the car, I found myself singing out loud and loving it! I think I love Christmas songs because I know most of the words! And what words I don't know, I make them up, lol! I tried explaining that drummer boy song to my preschooler today...and making the sound, pppprrrumpapumpum! It brings me back to the cartoon that came on at night when I was a kid...I looked forward to it and the other ones that came on every year at night (when there was no such thing as cable!)

Everybody's sick around here! I've been fighting off the 'gunk' for over a week. My youngest daughter has missed most of school this week. Now, the little boys are sick. Actually, they've been having symptoms of a cold for a week or two but yesterday, my preschooler's cough took a turn for the worse and his ear started hurting. And the baby seems to always have a runny nose (probably due to teething, but not necessarily because of his wheezing.) Nevertheless, all three kids went in to to two different doctors today and were seen. I'm not feeling bad enough to go see a doctor but just enough to feel tired and under the weather all day long, ugh!

This afternoon, my preschooler said, "Mom, can you stand up and carry me while you walk around?" ....so I did.

I was SO excited when our city got a Baskin Robbins Ice Cream store (after not having one for over 7 years!) I am a huge fan of their ice cream and blame it on my childhood. LOL! I loved going to our local store and sitting on pink chairs while spending time with my family. Later, I'd drive through the drive-through and the worker knew immediately upon seeing me what I was going to order. After a long and hard day cleaning out our huge shed and organizing the entire inventory (that took over 9 hours of hard work), I ended it by sending my daughter to get some ice cream for me. Unfortunately, when she returned, she handed it to me while I was holding my youngest son who had a taste of it and REALLY liked it!!! I guess I had better write this in his baby book that this was his first food. I had to fight to a bite as he'd dunk his whole face in the cup. I guess he's gonna love ice cream as much as I do.

I am thankful for...

My preschooler answered that in his class. He had three answers: mom and dad; playing tractors; and snacks, food and milk.

Here are a few things I am thankful for. First and foremost, I am thankful for my loving and considerate family, my health, and my hubby's job that allows us to live comfortably. In the last year, I have redone the house I grew up in, moved into it, had a baby, had a trip to California and now am getting ready for the holidays. I am very blessed that nothing really bad has happened. My family and I are in great health and I move into this Thanksgiving holiday looking forward to spending it with my immediate and extended family (along with a few friends.) I am thankful for my husband's family with whom I have been close to for many years. His sisters are incredibly nice and thoughtful. I love his mother too and am thankful she's nearing 86 years old. She has been very loving to my children and very nice to us. I am thankful for my bf Janet who stays awake with me when I drive long distances via phone. I don't know what I would do without her and her friendship. She's been a shoulder for me and I hope vice versa in good times and bad. I am thankful for my other friends that I would like to spend more time with and think about often like Cathy and other friends from high school. Now that we both have kids, there is so much more to talk about. I am thankful for my friend Pam with whom I have shared many stories about my kids with her whose kids are near the same age over the last 20 years or so. I am thankful for my online 'sweet potato' friends with whom I have made lasting friendships over the last four years and hope to continue them. I have learned so much from them. I am thankful for my brother Mike who calls just to check on me (and he lives across the street.) We have become very close in the last decade and it's a nice feeling. I'm very blessed.

Tonight, my preschooler said...

Mom, I really like you.

This is during our quiet settling down time before going to bed. We were just laying on his bed talking about what he'll be doing tomorrow (and how he should already be asleep.) It was completely unexpected...and sweet.

He then added, I really like Curious George too.

He acquired a stuffed Curious George at Kohls yesterday and they've been inseparable ever since.

Monsters! Last night, my preschooler tip-toed into my room and I immediately woke up. He rarely leaves his room but last night was an exception. Apparently, 'a monster made out of scooby snacks' came into his room and scared him. He was actually shaking. I suggested he have scooby eat it! He wanted to 'stand guard' in the living room and I said, sure. As you've probably guessed, he watched a lot of Scooby Doo. It was too cute...although, not at 5am.

It's amazing how much someone can change in five years. It seems like just yesterday... Five years ago, I was working as a dedicated employee in a career I loved (in the public sector), had two teenagers and a large (and messy) home. Fast forward five years and I now have four children, am a stay-at-home mom and a smaller home that I keep cleaner (notice, I didn't say 'clean.') I made huge life-changing decisions that have hugely impacted my life (to the better) and have spent more time with my family (and extended family.) If someone were to have told me (five years ago) that I'd be in this position I am right now, I'd would have laughed at them. I really loved my career and those coworkers with whom I had worked with for...12 plus years. Sure, I'm a lot poorer than I was at that time, but I have learned that money isn't everything. It's amazing that with the addition of my last two children, I have gained many more friends and I continue to learn so much from them. I'm truly happy at this stage in my life.

My Sister-in-law has breast cancer again. She had it in one breast years ago (maybe eight years ago?) She's one of two sisters-in-law who have had it so far. Now, it's in the other breast. She's scared. She's gonna just have a mastectomy this week and remove the whole thing so it won't return. I wasn't in the picture a lot when she went through radiation previously...perhaps I didn't want to accept that it was happening, or that it was so serious. I plan on doing more this time. I will be there to listen, will offer to come clean/cook/help out around the house while her husband is at work and/or do whatever she requests of me. I feel very blessed to be healthy and have a wonderful family and great friends. I don't know what I'd do in that kind of situation and would rather not even think about it. For now, I'll send some extra positive thoughts to Judy on Thursday.

I just got back from San Diego. It's incredible how different that city is from the one I live in right now. San Diego has at least a million more people. My city is flat, not along the ocean, and has lots of mosquitoes. I was in awe when we flew directly into downtown. I'm used to airports being further away from those kinds of areas. I don't fly often. In the suburb where I stayed, there were houses all up and down the hills and sometimes the streets stopped in the middle of the hill...makes me glad that my rent car was not standard! I love going to new places and seeing wonderful different views...and then I especially love returning home. While driving, here are a couple of picture I snapped along the way.

Leaving the airport, I was glued to the Pacific Ocean and all the splendor.





And, of course, there was a lot of traffic.



Here's a sign showing how close it was to the border.

At the same birthday party last weekend, my preschooler also received a little stamper. It was a circle shaped stamp that was orange in color. Yesterday, while we were running errands in the car, he decided he needed to stamp his arms, hands, legs and forehead. If that's not enough, he needed to also stamp his baby brother who was in the carseat next to him as well...all over too. It was a kodak moment (but I didn't have my camera.) He was so proud of himself.

Magic Jelly Beans~

Scott was invited to his first kid birthday party of someone he knows as a friend (someone from his pre k class.) He received a little thing of jelly beans shaped like a fish. On the way home, he discussed throwing them in the yard. I asked him why he'd do that, and he explained. He wanted to throw them in the yard and after he went to sleep, they'd grow into a beanstalk and go up into the sky.

Smiling, I reassured him that he could do that and that it was ok. He did...Fortunately, he didn't go outside the next morning and check to see if there were a beanstalk! Whew!

I just love childhood.

It's interesting...there are some things I've never done and aren't sure why.

For instance, I have a friend whom I never visit. I met her when I was 13 and we've lived within 10 miles from each other all of this time. She and my brother dated once and we started talking. We've followed each other's lives for about 30 years via phone (and email in the last few years.) It works for us and we've had a great friendship this way. I saw her once when I was 13, again in a library the same year (didn't realize it was her until later) and then again at her father's funeral several months ago. Thanks for being my friend, Pam.

Also, I haven't eaten at my brother's home (until tonight.) He has lived across from me for many years (and eats at my home all the time.) I'm not sure why, but the fact that he just started cooking probably has something to do with it. I enjoyed the chicken and dumplings, Mike. Thank you.

Years ago, I mentioned something about skydiving. For my birthday, my husband bought me two tickets to go skydiving. I procrastinated and procrastinated as I am quite the acrophobic. I just couldn't bring myself to throw myself out of a plane. Eventually, after a year, the tickets expired and I never went. I now choose not to mention this to my husband as I hope he has forgotten that his thoughtful gift went unused and was wasted. I probably could have done it if I had worked on my fear throughout the year...but I'm not sure why I didn't.

Finally, I love wearing socks. Around the house, I always take off my shoes and walk around in socks, usually nice fluffy white ones. I wear them until they are no longer white and have holes...then I throw them away and buy more while doing the same thing, over and over. I even sleep in socks. I have no idea why.

Yesterday, my husband dropped something in the kitchen and said uh-oh! My preschooler immediately sang, "Der Kommissar is in town." That's what happens when he listens to '80s music with my husband, lol! Today, he was singing, "I love rock and roll...put another dime in the judebox, baby." His all time favorite is, "I hate myself for loving you..."

Last week, when we returned from evacuating, my preschooler started sleeping in his own room at night. He just went in there (probably because he wanted to watch his dvd on his portable dvd player, which we allow sometimes.) I'm not sure why, but we just ...went with it. He sleeps in his own room during his naptime. But for almost three years now, he has been sharing the bed with us. His departure was unexpected and we weren't weaned, so to speak. I miss him at night with us. It's nice to have more room in our bed, but sad nonetheless. He's growing up...

My youngest brother is getting married next month. I haven't been to a wedding of a sibling yet. This brother was previously married but for only a couple of years and his wife wanted out (she found someone else.) I figure that it ended because they didn't invite the family and, in particular, me. It was a quick wedding because he was being deployed. This time, our family (and extended family) received an invitation and I have already bought my ticket to fly out to San Diego (for me and my baby.) It would have been nice if it were convenient for all of us to go witness such a celebration, but it was not to be.

When I think of this upcoming wedding, I smile. I love seeing people plan and enter into these lifetime arrangements called weddings. They plan the details (flowers, food, photography and music) and look forward to honeymoons. My brother and his fiance are going through premarital counseling. I think that is a very wise decision as many things aren't discussed until they come up. I've had friends who went through the same thing and weren't disappointed. I like feeling happy that his whole life is ahead of him. The joy of being married, having children, becoming mature with his spouse, and growing old together. My husband and I haven't really fought over anything significant in many many years. Occasionally, we disagree over very minor things, but overall, we've grown very mature with each other and have learned great techniques to get along. Marriage isn't easy, it's a work in progress with both parties doing their best to make the other one happy. I hope my brother's marriage goes as smoothly as mine has.

When you live in an area where hurricanes are prevalent, you cross your fingers that they go somewhere else. We evacuated recently from Hurricane Gustov (our city was one that had a mandatory evacuation.)While I had many of my important documents still together from the last evacuation a few years ago, I made a list of the things I thought were important and needed to be packed. It's interesting how you have to choose those things based on how much room you have in your vehicle. While I love taking pictures, I didn't have room for my photo albums. But then, pictures don't seem as important when you consider having to leave to protect your family, real people. Lo and behold, my daughter showed up the morning on the day we evacuated. I woke up to find her asleep in her car outside in the yard. She made it back home and we took her along with us. We also took our preschooler's bicycle (his favorite possession), my husband's golf clubs, my other daughter's cellphone and ipod and my baby's pack-and-play. We needed a place for him to sleep as naps are very important to him. For me, I grabbed a box of genealogy information and baby books from my children as well as my siblings. As long as we were all together as a family, nothing else seemed very important. We were safe and far away from the impending storm.

Bathtub woes... Yesterday afternoon, my preschooler decided he was stinky and wanted a bath. It sounded good to me although he wasn't really stinky. He played and played in there, loving it! I was getting hungry and popped out for just a minute to get a handful of peanuts. You know that feeling when you get when you hear something that you picture happening but know it can't possibly be happening. Well, I hear sounds of water being dumped. It wasn't a normal bathtub sound. As I walk toward the bathroom, I am continuing to try to picture what was happening. Lo and behold, as I get there, this precious boy is pouring huge cups of water onto the floor over and over. The entire floor is covered in water at least an inch high. How could SO much water be thrown out in so little time! Ugh!!!! I grab him out of the bathtub and put him in the hall in his time out place with a towel as I try to soak up the water as quickly as possible. In hindsight, I amaze myself in how composed I was when I handled my little water-thrower. It took all the towels I had to soak it all up. I had to move everything around, dry off what was on the floor, pick up the soaked rugs.... I remembered the big smile he had on his face when I initially went in there, probably proud of his accomplishment. After all the water was picked up and everything was back in it's place, I allowed him to get out of his time-out. When asking him why he did it, he said it was because he was done! (I had just gone out of there to get my peanuts after asking if he were done, he had said he wasn't.) But then, what should I expect from a 3 year old. Next time, I'll bring my snack in there with me. I reassured him that he can throw water out when he's outside in his pool, not in the bathtub....ever again!!!

Finally, preschool. I had put my preschooler on the waiting list for this particular private school when he was a month old. My city's schools aren't that good and the one he'd be going to in our neighborhood is just plain scary. I knew that if I hadn't gotten him on the list early, it might not happen.

But then, as the months wore on and he was getting older, I started getting sad. Even last year, I was getting teary eyed with the thought that he'd be gone three days a week. Was I doing the right thing? Was it too early? He had an interview with the school last January and I was quite ambivalent then too. But because I was pregnant, I thought he might want the time away from home to play with kids his own age, and that made me feel better. We finally got the acceptance letter in March. He was in! Oh, I was really feeling anxiety then, still on the verge on 'undecided.' After all, I could change my mind and not send him.

After the birth of his little brother, and the change in our daily routine, I finally understood that it'd be a break for me, and him. It would be alright. He'd survive...and I would too. It'd be ok. This preschool is expensive, it's a big chunk out of our budget and each year he'd go there would get more expensive. It was a big decision to send him and I spent hours debating the issue in my mind.

Last Friday, two days ago, the day came.......it was his first day of preschool (for 3 year olds) and we both did extremely well. I talked about what would happen in our daily stories at naptime and nighttime. It was the opportunity to discuss what his days would be like and what he'd do there. He was excited when he bought his backpack (green dinosaur style) too. When I took him to his class, he looked for his chair and sat down, happy as a clam. I knew he'd be fine. Neither of us cried, or even thought about crying. I am an easier crier and have cried when my previous kids entered kindergarten. But, it was easier than I thought.

He had a great day. Loved the lunch I made for him and enjoyed the class snacktime.
I think I made the right decision...

I just love this face.


And the face of my little one too.


And, not to be left out, my younger daughter.

Tractor Man! Here's my preschooler - dressed to work! He's in his 'tractor boots,' backpack full of tools and his hardhat. He'd prefer to wear this everyday!

It's raining outside! We need the rain so badly...my house on piers moves when it's dry and doors start to buckle along with cracks starting to emerge on the wall. We placed a soaker hose under the house to prevent any major issues in the near future.

I love the sound of the rain...especially a good thunder storm. It sometimes brings me back to when I was a kid and I remember coloring in a new coloring book and the smell of new crayons. Such a simple memory...it's interesting how something so insignificant can remain for decades in my memory while something that happened last week is easily forgotten. It just means I'm getting a little older; hopefully, a little wiser too.

It's dark outside, I can hear the rain beating on the steps to the porch, and the sound of faint thunder in the distance. Life is good. What makes this even better is that the both kids are taking a nap and it's quiet inside too.

I have a friend (actually my brother's friend) who has come to our house with him on occasion. It turns out that she and I share the same interest in watching Law and Order: Criminal Intent and In Plain Sight. So, for the last month or so, she's come over to watch the shows with me... It's nice to have a tv watching partner of sorts.

Pics from the Fourth of July!

Collin


Both boys


And...just had to include this one!

Yesterday, I went to the mall with my family. Of course, with a toddler (I guess he's a preschooler now), he wanted to stop and ride the little vehicles in the middle of the mall. So, we let him...it was expected. However, it was totally unexpected that he would check out them so closely. LOL! He spent half the time checking out the oil leaking underneath (of course, there was no oil...he was pretending.) He even went as far as to tell the little girl going to ride the four-wheeler vehicle that she needed to be careful because there was oil leaking underneath it and he needed to fix it. So totally cute! You can tell he's been hanging around his dad (who has been trying to keep the old lawnmower working for a long time....)I wonder what he'll be when he grows up?

Aaaah! Peace. My infant is sleeping and my toddler is in his room for quiet time/nap. While I can think of dozens of things to do, I took a few minutes to check my email. I'm currently eating some trail mix and watching Bend it Like Beckham...again. I'm reeling from playing Cariboo (toddler game) during the baby's morning nap (we savor the time to play while the baby sleeps.) My goals for the rest of the day...continue putting prints in my photo album and bring groceries to my mother-in-law. If I can remember to pick up stamps along the way, I'll be a happy camper.

Yes, the sun naps. While sitting outside this morning with my toddler and newborn, I watched my toddler play in the sand with his dumptrucks. The sun was shining and then it was covered by clouds (making it a little more cool which was nice.) When the sun came back out, my toddler asked, "Sun, did you have a nice nap?" When I realized what he asked, I told him that the sun enjoyed the nap. He then remarked that the sun was really tired...and then it popped back out. I never thought about it that way before.

While putting my toddler to sleep last night, he whispered something. I couldn't understand it initially, but after a couple attempts, I finally got it. He was saying to me, "You're my best buddy." Aaaww!

My younger daughter recently attained her first job. She's working a lot and I'm very proud of her - who'd have thought she was a hard worker!!! Between work, dance and school, she's a busy teenager! I should be happy, right? No...because I have to pick her up from work and she gets off at midnight! :( That's ok...she should be getting her license next month.

New Addition to our Family: Collin. I now have four children; an older set of girls and a younger set of boys. It was a little scary for a while but we ended up doing well and being healthy. He was born on April 4th. We're very blessed. It's amazing how much I enjoy staying at home being a mom.

My boys...



My littlest...

Enjoyed a relaxing weekend in Galveston last weekend! Loved the ferry, fed the seagulls, walked on the beach and enjoyed swimming in a heated pool at a fantastic hotel while celebrating my daughter's birthday! It's good to get away!!!

This morning, my toddler woke up quietly and whispered...wondering whether the Easter Bunny had come or not. After days of preparing him about what was going to happen, him helping me tape up pictures of Bunnies in flowers as well as Easter Baskets, and coloring eggs, it was finally the time! He and my teenager found their baskets and started looking through them. I love these moments...and, of course, the reason we have these holidays. Happy Easter to all!!!

I've officially moved! Yep, all the big furniture and appliances have been moved. Finally got around to moving my clothes and shoes...but still haven't gone back to get dishes, half the pots/pans and other stuff I'll need eventually. I'm just resting and waiting for the next surge of motivation to come.... I love my new place!!!

New carpet! Mmmm! I love the smell and freshness of new carpet. It makes everything seem new and clean. The carpet plus freshly painted walls makes the old house I grew up in seem even more inviting. It's halfway done with the work in the rooms as well as putting in a new floor for the kitchen. It's getting close!!!!

I will be moving soon. Not far away though, just a couple houses down from where I live now. It's exciting! Because I haven't moved in over twenty years, I have clutter and crap everywhere!!! I find heavy burdons being lifted as I throw away stuff and donate the stuff someone else may want. I still have too many books and more clutter than I can contain, but the anticipation of knowing that everything will have a home is calming. I'm currently cleaning and doing a little painting (with my doctor's approval.) I'm still at the stage of divide and conquer, packing will be next week!

Crawfish holes all over!! These little mounds are multiplied all over my yard!! Yesterday, my toddler and I walked around the yard and while he pushed his dumptruck, he was knocking them down. There was a huge one in front of me and I kicked it down. Unfortunately, it was the next one he wanted to plow down and he was disappointed. He informed me of his feelings and we continued walking. A few minutes later, he stopped, looked back and me and told me, "I'm still mad." Not thinking about what had happened or what he meant, I asked him why. He let me know that I am not to knock over any more crawfish holes. I apologized to him. :) He also wanted me to go in the house and have a timeout! Toddlers are SO cute!!

My toddler is supposed to be taking a nap right now. But I hear him in his room playing with toys. He is currently playing with one of those toys that you pull the lever and it sings an animal sound or the Old McDonald song. He tries to sing with it and it sounds so cute. I just wanna go open the door and kiss his precious chubby cheeks....but I'm enjoying my 'alone' time too much. Maybe he'll end up napping after all. Hey, I can dream!

We're contemplating moving! I have come to the realization that I have a problem with keeping stuff too long and just being a packrat! With the possibility arising, I've been cleaning out drawers, cabinets and shelves...wow! I have a lot of stuff!!! I'm kinda looking forward to clearing out stuff, even if we don't move.

Happy Thanksgiving!!! I love this holiday...I had really good memories of it growing up. I used to wake up to the smell of turkey cooking and spent time with the family preparing meals and cutting up potatoes. Mmmmmm!! It's such a great day to give thanks because I'm so thankful for all that I have. I miss my brother (overseas in Iraq) and my late parents during this time even more. I hope I'm also making great memories for my children.

There are just a few places that I really LOVE to go to eat! One place is a restaurant that my sister-in-law takes me (near her house.) Last weekend, my sister-in-law and brother-in-law took my family to this restaurant and it was just lovely!!! We eat outside on the covered porch which is actually over water of a bay. We sit and watch the boats, barges and tugboats go by. The best thing we enjoy (besides great conversation and food, of course) is watching dolphins swim by as well. There is a little dock in front of the restaurant where you can dock your boat and then clean your fish in a little area. The junk parts can be thrown in the water beside it, which attracts lots of dolphins too. To see these swift and graceful mammals swim right beside you is awesome!! It's the highlight of my week!!

What did I do today? It seems that at the end of the day, I usually think to myself and go over what I did that day, as well as prep myself for the following day. Today...I didn't do much. Here's a partial list:

Share some FrootLoops with my toddler
Sit outside and talk with my neighbor (and watch kids) for about an hour and a half
Grab takeout for lunch and mail a package to my brother
Take a nap
(Notice that dishes aren't on the list)
Return a couple phone calls
Have dinner at the local Cracker Barrel
Clean up fingernail polish from the carpet
Try not to let morning sickness overcome me
Watch the premier of Dirty Sexy Money
Try to stay awake during the news
Check email

Tomorrow's gotta be much more productive! I'd be totally embarassed if anybody actually showed up at my house. Where's that vacuum again?!?

Seventeen years ago today, my mother died. I miss her. I wonder what she'd look like now, what she'd think about me... I often think about what she sounded like...I miss the sound of her voice and the way she calmed me in times of stress. When I smell Chanel #5, I think of her, as it was her favorite scent.

She left the world too quickly, as her murder was quick and she was in no pain...Just as her murderer left the world when he was executed years later. I used to wonder why? I don't anymore as I'm sure there is a reason for everything.

There are some days when I really really miss her. I'd like to think that she knows she was a great mother...taught me to be independent, have good character, and be able to prioritize the things and people in my life. Not everyone has someone they miss so dearly, I am blessed to have had her for as little time as possible. She was a great influence in my life, and what she taught me still influences me. I'd like to live up to be as great a mom as she was.

I love you Mom.

My good deed for the day....was to assist a man who ran out of gas. Normally, I wouldn't pick up someone walking, I have a toddler and family to think of first, and nowadays, anything could happen. But on my street today, I saw a man walking with a gas can. I didn't think much about it. Later, I was leaving and saw a van a few houses down with it's door open. I put two and two together and figured the man ran out of gas and left his family in the van while he walked to the store (a few street away.) Since I was going that way anyway, I drove until I saw the man still walking. I asked if he were from the van and he said yes. I offered him a ride to get his gas, and then back to his family. I love that warm feeling you have when you do something nice for someone else. I want to teach that to my children...to give to others, share, volunteer and be interested in someone other than themselves.

My younger brother bought a horse! It's amazing how much he enjoys caring for it. As a bonus, my younger daughter spends lots of time brushing, talking to and feeding it. It is staying at a neighbor's pasture which is really convenient. It's a beautiful horse; it used to be a racing horse, but has weak feet and needs a lot of TLC right now. It's great that they both have found an outlet...something to do that is positive, involves caring for something/somebody else, and allows them to bond.

Ouch!!! At lunch today, at a local Mexican restaurant, I was eating fajitas and burned my fingertip on that hot plate they come on. OMG!!! I've had it on ice now for about 3 hours and it still HURTS!!! I feel like such a wimp. I realize there are lot more nerve endings in fingertips than other places... I really can't imagine what a burn victim might feel when he or she is actually burned. My tiny little insignificant burn is such a pain.

I just love waking up in a clean house! I've been in a cleaning mood all week...throwing out stuff, reorganizing, vacuuming, clearing off surfaces, going through old magazines... Now I have to keep it clean (and help my family remember to clean up after themselves as well!) It's been relatively cool (because of all the recent rains) so we've been hanging out a lot in the house. It's working out well. Today, I'll make chicken and sausage gumbo!

Mosquitos and Frogs Everywhere!!! It rains every day!!! My yard is SO wet! In the evening when you walk outside, you get attacked by mosquitos! The planes fly over occasionally spraying for them but there is so much water that new mosquitos are hatched out each day! And frogs, whew!!! Little ones, huge onees...I have never seen so many! I hope they're all hungry and help out on the mosquito populations!! It's rained for weeks on end now....... Rain, rain, go away!!

A few weeks ago, my dryer died. It was over 20 years old so I needed to get a new one. I didn't get around to getting one until last week and it arrived today. I had forgotten about washaterias. I felt so naive the first time we took our clothes to one to be washed. Wow, it was expensive! And the dryers didn't dry the clothes like I dry them at home. After spending lots of quarters in the numerous washers and dryers along with the snack and candy machines, I was out about $30. Then, we had to do it again last week (the same day I bought the new dryer!) The one thing I do enjoy about doing clothes at washaterias is that after they're done, I fold them and put them back in the baskets to bring home. That doesn't happen as quickly at home! It's nice to have a dryer back!!!!! Ahhhh...it's the little things that make me happy!

Happy Birthday to me!!! Yep, I'm a cancer! I'm blessed to be healthy, happy, and grateful for the family and loved ones around me. Life's good!

Woke up to a thunderstorm, had an uninterrupted lunch with a friend, got nice cards/gifts, and ended the day with family. I had a nice day.

Back from Vacation! I had a wonderful week recently! My family and I went to visit my best friend on the East Coast. We had cool weather too there, as it's so hot and humid where I live! Great company, great food and great time!

My toddler at the shore. I just love all the color in this pic (green grass, red rocks and blue water.)


Eating in Chinatown, NYC. My daughter, hubby, and friend (toddler in front.)

Mmmmmm! Guacamole! I went to Houston today to take my nephew to the doctor. My brother, nephew, daughter and son went with me. We also stopped at a mexican restaurant (Pappasitos) for lunch. I ordered off the menu and also requested an order of guacamole. Boy was I surprised when a guy and his table came along side our table and made the guacamole as we watched. I mean, the whole thing from scooping out the avacados to adding in the ingredients and mixing. Very cool indeed! It was very good!!!! The whole time I was wondering how much this appetizer was gonna cost me though. It was expensive, to say the least, but...worth it!

This is my brother munching down on chips!

I'm sad. My goose is gone! Yes, I have a goose, or used to, anyway. We've had this goose for many years (6 or 7 at least!) It was a great watchgoose!!!! Much better than our dogs but wasn't very cuddly, to say the least. This morning, when I went out to feed him, he was gone and there were a few feathers around his foodbowl. Apparently, in the night, something got in his fence (in a fenced yard behind our home) and dragged him out. It was a quick death, there weren't many feathers. Either that, or it flew away while being attacked and is still flying........ We found no body.

It just wasn't a good day for our pets yesterday. Sniff, sniff!!! Not only did this happen last night, but yesterday afternoon, we took our older dog into the veterinarian because she was lathargic and didn't look good. She was about 12 years old and we gave her to my mother-in-law about 12 years ago. We've seen her once or twice a week for that amount of time and she's lived with us for a little less than a year now (after MIL was too ill to care for her.) Unfortunately, It seems she may be going into kidney failure. She is still there at the clinic, under observation with intravenous fluids and antibiotics. Our fingers are crossed.

Edited to add: Our dog's condition deteriated today and this afternoon, we said goodbye for the last time.

Morning Thunderstorms are So Cool!!It's so nice to sleep with the sound of rain! Even a little thunder and lightening makes the sleep much deeper... This morning, there was a thunderstorm and lots of rain (it's still raining!) I didn't hear this on the news a couple days ago, so it must have originated within the last day or so. It was a nice surprise. I was involved in a really nice dream and the weather just infiltrated, making it a great dream. After waking, I just continued to listen to the thunder and rain in the darkened room. Fortunately, I didn't have anything planned this morning outside! It's a good excuse to clean inside today though, so I better start.....in a little while!

Summer schedule! I love not having to get up in the mornings! I don't have to get up early to bring anybody to school, work, or appointments! I can just sleep as late as I want or can (which is usually around 8am....but an hour later than normal!) It's summer! And I have waited for these couple of months all year long! Now that it's here, I'm stagnant. I'm enjoying not having to do anything so I'm not doing much. Kinda sad, huh? I'm going to make a summer goal list and check off each one as I do something. That way, I won't look up, and it be all over!!

Mmmmm...popcorn! I hadn't been to the movies in ages. I have recently just rented movies and stayed home to watch them. I miss the aroma of popcorn in a theatre. As I type, popcorn is popping inside the microwave and I'm getting ready to watch a movie. Yes, this one would be considered boring by my teen. It's a foreign one with subtitles, but it's Monsoon Wedding and I'll be watching it again for the second time (the first time was years ago so I'm looking forward to it.) If I had raisinets, I'd be in heaven!!!

Back from a mini-vacation from my sister-in-law's home. It's always nice to go there and relax. I usually gain at least five pounds while I'm there. She lives on the bay and I love smelling the salty air, feeling the wind blow on my face and listen to the multitude of birds flying around. She, and her hubby, are fantastic cooks/grillers and the food is fantastic! After a while though, I miss my comfortable chair, my familiar surroundings, and my latenight phonecalls.

My toddler's close-up!


My kids coming up the stairs.


Playing in the water after a heavy rain!


Smile!!

My Three Kids....



For a brief moment in time, they all smiled at once... No make-up, no cute shirts, no fighting, no silly smirks- I thought it turned out great. Unplanned and rough.

"Let's think." That's what my toddler now says when he wants to lay down with me and listen to me tell stories to him. He has been requesting to do this several times daily and we imagine that we're dinosaurs hiding in caves, lady bugs eating grass, large construction vehicle operators, passengers in airplanes....the adventures are endless. I really look forward to see his enjoyment and the fascination in his expression as we imagine these scenarios, and use our senses to make it more interesting. He now adds to the stories and it's precious to hear him become creative and imaginative.

State Capitals! Hm.... When I was in the fifth grade, I had to learn all the state capitals and the states. I didn't try very hard and when I made a 30 something on my test, I had to take my test home and get my parent's signature. The next day was another scheduled test, and on that time, spelling would be counted. Needless to say, after my disappointed mother signed my test, she studied with me all afternoon and evening. The next day, I made a 97 on my spelling/capital test. I have always remembered that feeling when I passed, after having tried that night, and it has helped me in building character.



So, when my nephew wanted something to do to make money, I had a suggestion. I'd give him 50 cents for each correct capital. A few months went by...when he asked again last week, I again suggested learning the capitals. This time, he took me up on it. After 5 days, he made a perfect score! Great job, Cody!

....The Presidents are next. :)

Our daylily garden is blooming! Lots of beds of plants are in our yard, including daylilies, wildflowers and many butterfly attracting plants.



My toddler knows how to pull weeds as well. He reaches down and yanks up certain weeds as if it were second nature. Now, if he'd stay in one place and continue so that he'd finish a whole bed, we'd be happy campers! But, he doesn't stay in one place long, and he and his tonka truck stroll around the yard looking for things to get into. Today's treasure was a toad, well cared for and held for half an hour, until he had to let it go.

Baby kittens!!! There are four little kittens under our house. The mother cat just showed up in the neighborhood some months ago and the house across the street feeds everything, including her. We have a cat, but he's fixed, and I know he didn't father them! They are so cute and tiny!!! Aaaawwwww, the soft, furry, precious feet and kitten ears!!!Being that they're under the house though, we feel obligated to find good homes for them. But, until then.....

Today, the little black one got a ride in the back of a tonka truck!! Another was carried gently for a half hour, and they look so cute attached to the shirt of my toddler!!

It's the little things that make my days so much better lately.

Blah...I am totally feeling blah. You know that feeling you get after a huge event or when a stressful situation finally ends, that's where I am right now. I just want to sit and watch tv (not think), avoid calls and do nothing. Blah. I know, totally not possible... This has been a rough month, and my stress is lessening.

I know, there are so many great things in my life for me to be thankful for...I know I am very blessed. But for today, I just want to mourne the past and tomorrow I will start moving forward again.

On the upside, my nephew came over today and nudged me to go walking. We all went walking and the exercise made me feel a little better. I need to do that more often.

Sleep like a rock? I think not! It took forever for me to go to sleep last night!I kept thinking about some serious situations and issues currently involving close people in my life so I wasn't able to turn it off like I normally would. Then, I awoke to the firing of a handgun. I rethink, was it five, then two shots? I saw a truck next door with it's lights on so I knew that if something really 'bad' happened, my neighbor would let me know. And, I wasn't going to go outside after hearing shots. Later, a thunderstorm came and lots of rain woke up my dog, who is deathly afraid of thunder. So, she whimpered for quite a while. For some reason, my toddler decided to wake up as well. My teenager was 'feeling lonely,' so she crawled in my room on the floor with her comforter (more noise.) The one thing I did not hear...was the alarm clock! Maybe, I should say, I ended up sleeping like a ...pebble!

My friend died today. Just a few short weeks ago, he found out he had cancer and now he's gone. This last week was hard for him and he was in a lot of pain; they had stopped treatment of any kind as his prognosis was not good. It was a good day to die...there were thundershowers and heavy rain in our area, but then the sun came out and the day brightened. I'll miss you, Jim.

My daughter is sixteen years old today!!! I remember clearly the day she was born, beautiful spring day, and the weather was beautiful. I had begun the morning by swinging my older daughter from the swing in the front yard. I proceeded to labor with her all day and helped it out by walking at the mall. I realized I was in full labor when I wasn't able to walk through the pain anymore and would stop and pretend I was windowshopping when a contraction came. I went home, called my doctor, and within two hours, she was here!!! She was a bundle of joy, and still is, on most days! Where does the time go? I wouldn't trade her for the world. Happy Birthday Sarah!!

Life is short. Don't waste your time and make every minute count! I have often heard those words and but don't think of them as often as I should. I have a friend who just barely made it though an anneurism surgery without any complications (whew!) only to find out during his follow-up visit and x-rays that he now has back cancer. It caught him and his wife by surprise and they're devestated. I'll be sending them positive thoughts and prayers, and remembering the value of life and it's precious moments to cherish througout the day. I think I'll visit my mother-in-law today. I'll spend those extra minutes I'd be watching tv just visiting and sharing my day with her, as she loves company.

My strongest memories of childhood. Someone asked that question earlier...and after pondering, I came up with theses:

My parents always bought me new kid tool each spring (rake, hoe and shovel.) I thought it was so cool that I could use mine in the garden just like my dad.

My mom used to call me her rare gem. It was a very special pet name. When I smell chanel number 5, I think of my mom.

Around Christmas one year, I pretended to be asleep on the floor when I was about nine. My father picked me up and brought me to bed. My dad must have been in his mid-sixties at that time but didn't say anything about it...he just picked me up and tucked me into bed.

Going to bakeries in new towns...my mom had a sweet tooth and loved real danish (like she used to have up north) so we'd alway go check them out.

Smelling food when I came home from school from my parent(s) cooking.

Playing with my older brother in the yard, making treehouses, making mudpies, and riding our bikes on the trails in neighboring vacant lots.

Getting to go shopping twice a year for schoolclothes and/or shoes (once before school, and once in the spring near Easter.)

Watching my dad get ready for work every morning. He was a painter (he was actually a painter superintendent but I didn't know that as a kid) and always wore white long sleeved shirts and white pants with his company's patch on the front pocket.

The smell of Seaport coffee brewing each morning.

In the evening, I'd help take off my dad's boots (lace-up type with paint marks.) He'd tell me how great it was that I did that (and other things like bring him a glass of ice water) and how, one day, he'd dance at my wedding. Being as I grew up Baptist (who don't believe in dancing,) as I walked alone with my dad up to the building of the church where I was married, I stopped and reminded him of his promise. We stood there, outside on the sidewalk, and danced before going in and walking down the aisle.

First sentence! My toddler completed his first real sentence today which consisted of four words. Most of his words are incomprehendible but there are a few that I can translate to figure out what he wants. Today, he said, "Ba'ho cu tees down" which translate to: Backhoe cuts trees down. You can tell that backhoes are some of his favorite things...I'm so proud! :)

What a beautiful day!! Today, we made a vegetable garden. It took twice as long as it would have normally taken to make it, but my toddler helped a whole lot! I think we will have a lot more corn than we will ever need since 'just one or two' to my toddler means as much as he can grab before I take it all away. So, we'll eventually have red potatoes, green beans, green peppers, cherry tomatoes, corn and mustard greens. We're not expecting much more cold weather so hopefully, in a few months, we'll be eating fresh veggies. It feels good to create something and watch it develop to it's full potential.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Growing up, my father used to always buy us a candy filled valentine! It was something I looked forward to every year! Those red valentine shaped boxes with different kinds of chocolate inside, mmmmmm! I loved to take just gobble each one up, or if I didn't like it so much, I'd just take a bite out of it and then put it back. Passing out valentines in class was my second favorite thing to do as well as receiving them. It was so much fun making little valentine holders to put them in when the time came to pass them out. It's such a great holiday filled with my childhood memories.

For this year, my hubby will pick me some beautiful narcissus out of the yard and put them in a vase for me in the morning as well as make me some oatmeal. It always tastes better when he makes it. That's all I requested. I've written a long card and hid it near where he makes his coffee in the morning to surprise him.

It's gonna be a great day!

I have a new bicycle! I requested one for Christmas and I picked it out myself. I also bought a front bicycle seat for my toddler along with matching helmets. I'm in heaven!! Updated with a side mirror, I want to ride like the wind! I wish there were bike paths in my neighborhood so that I could ride safer, but I ride when there are few people out and when most are at work. I'm trying to convince my brother or my hubby to ride with me but so far, no takers. For now, it'll just be me, my toddler, and the numerous backhoes and lawnmowers to point out along the way!!

My toddler got his first haircut yesterday!! He hates to get his hair combed or brushed, so we end up straightening his hair with our fingers every day. It's easier now that it's much shorter. My hubby took him to his barber and he sat there and was very cooperative and I was very impressed! It seems he's becoming a 'big boy!'

As I sit here and check my email and read my favorite bloggings, I listen to the baby moniter. I can hear my toddler snore. It's the sound of the cutest little voice you've ever heard. I look forward to my 'alone' time so that I can catch up on little things in the evening and tend to try to forget him while he's sleeping. But just listening to the baby snore sound (btw, he's getting over a little cold) makes me smile.

It's so hard to do the right thing sometimes. It's easy to differentiate whether it's the right thing or not, but following through can be difficult. A situation came up over the weekend regarding my daughter. Two of her friends and her were involved in a scheme and went somewhere and lied to each of the parents. We're talking...breaking municipal curfew, being passengers in a vehicle (who knows whether the driver was under the influence), being in a dangerous part of town, and being in a situation with guys where they were vulnerable. My daughter felt uncomfortable and called to be picked up. She was supposed to be at her friend's house. I took them both home.

(After two days of being sick, I was able to go do the right thing.) The hardest part was telling the parents. The look in the parents' eyes with disappointment and confusion. One dad said he had suspected it for a while (that the daughter was sneaking out) but had no proof. The other mom was in a panic and couldn't understand that her daughter had lied to her. It was so sad...

Yep, my daughter will be in the doghouse with her friends, and may them as friends, which may not be a bad thing. But, I feel secure in the knowledge that had I may have saved those lives and/or undue stress/trauma by telling their parents.

And in twenty years, when they are parents of teenagers, they'll hopefully remember this and thank me.

It's so hard to do the right thing sometimes. It's easy to differentiate whether it's the right thing or not, but following through can be difficult. A situation came up over the weekend regarding my daughter. Two of her friends and her were involved in a scheme and went somewhere and lied to each of the parents. We're talking...breaking municipal curfew, being passengers in a vehicle (who knows whether the driver was under the influence), being in a dangerous part of town, and being in a situation with guys where they were vulnerable. My daughter felt uncomfortable and called to be picked up. She was supposed to be at her friend's house. I took them both home.

(After two days of being sick, I was able to go do the right thing.) The hardest part was telling the parents. The look in the parents' eyes with disappointment and confusion. One dad said he had suspected it for a while (that the daughter was sneaking out) but had no proof. The other mom was in a panic and couldn't understand that her daughter had lied to her. It was so sad...

Yep, my daughter will be in the doghouse with her friends, and may them as friends, which may not be a bad thing. But, I feel secure in the knowledge that had I may have saved those lives and/or undue stress/trauma by telling their parents.

And in twenty years, when they are parents of teenagers, they'll hopefully remember this and thank me.

A great morning! I got a few things accomplished...I had been putting off two errands for months and finally got them taken care of, so I was very satisfied with my end to procrastination in that department!! Then I went to Target and got a few giftcards for friends. Each time I go to Target with my toddler, we always get popcorn and a drink. It keeps his fingers occupied while I shop as fast as I can until he remembers that there are many backhoes and trucks there in the toy department. We were able to escape without much drama and were in there for a total of about 10 minutes!! In the parking lot, I noticed a few birds eating morsels of food. I unloaded my bag and purse from the basket and was getting ready to transfer my toddler, but he had other plans in mind. He wanted to watch the birds. We ended up standing by the vehicle (fortunately, he was still buckled in the cart seat) for at least 20 minutes. It was so fun!! I didn't have a time schedule and we threw bits of popcorn down for the birds. And I kept showing him the different birds while observing their run/walk/movement to the popcorn! Eventually, he realized that loud monster noises make birds move away very fast! And that was that!!