A trip out of town

My kiddos and I went to my SILs house over the weekend. It was a gathering to celebrate her birthday as well as her daughter's college graduation. It was two and a half hours away so I needed to time it just right in order to have a safe stressfree ride there (and back.)

So, I left right after lunch hoping they would take a nap. For the first hour, they didn't so I stopped at a mall along the way to get them even more tired. We also listened to music in the car too. I've been listening to a station lately of current pop music instead of 80s type music. At one point, I noticed my preschooler singing along with a song. It was a song about fireflies, I think, and I didn't even know the words. I have no idea who sings it or what the words are...I find it amazing that he can hear it and remember the words so well.

We enjoyed the gathering and, aside from the long trip back with the toddler unhappy about a third of the time, it went off without a hitch. It was really nice to see other relatives I hadn't seen in a long time. While I don't usually go on these kind of trips without additional support (another adult to help out), it's nice to get out of town and see different scenery.

"I can't find me."

I hate hearing statements like that from my MIL, but they are so true, and there are days that she actually realizes it. Yesterday, after an exhausting cold and rainy afternoon wrangling two kids and taking her to a doctor's office (including a trip to a really small bathroom that her wheelchair barely fit in), she became agitated and eventually depressed. Most of the time, she doesn't seem to know she has such severe memory loss (due to her Alzheimers), but she seemed to definitely know it yesterday. At one point, while crying in the car on the way back to her ALF (assisted living facility), she said she just didn't feel right, "nothing feels right."

And, in that state of mind, she began asking where she lived, whether she had a home, whether she lived with anyone, and that she didn't want to be alone. And, upon entering the ALF, she didn't recognize it and started getting upset (similar to a young child upon being dropped off at the babysitter's house and not wanting to leave it's parent.) She was scared, upset, cold, wet, and tightly clutching the soft brown blanket I had wrapped her up in to stay dry. And then we turned the corner and she saw her door with her name on it (the letters J O that I put on there for her) and then her tears of being scared became tears of joy.

So, I left her. She, feeling so relieved to recognize her things again, hugged me and told me how much she loves me and how she has loved me for many years (and that I was her best friend.) I wish she knew that I was related to her and all the experiences we enjoyed together...but instead, I left her my blanket...it's replaceable.

the weather and funerals...

I am going to attend a funeral today of a very good acquaintance, no, a friend. Initially, his mom (who was doing the planning) was concerned that it might rain today, hoping that it wouldn't. I have other thoughts... I remember when my mother died and on the day of her funeral, it was bright, sunshiny and beautiful! I was disappointed, thinking that the clouds ought to rain too, to cry as much as I had been crying. And so, on days of funerals, I tend to keep that thought in the back on my mind, hoping for rain. I ought to just change my way of thinking though. The fact that the weather is nice shows that life goes on and passing away is a part of life.

This Christmas, I am attending a Christmas party with mutual friends of my friend who is being buried today. It's a small gathering, but a tradition we had been having for many, many years. I am enclosing a letter in my gift to my other friends, one that describes how much I appreciate them and why. Since it takes me so long to write an actual letter, getting the wording just right, I've been making first drafts already (and won't need to be finished for at least a week.) I want the letters to be just right...I'm better writing what I want to say rather than saying it...and I want my other friends to know I love them very much and what they mean to me.

Running in the Rain

I went to the mall a couple days ago with my little kiddos. We saw Santa, rode in the small holiday train, ate cookies at the cookie store, and walked around a little bit. We had a fabulous time (no meltdowns or escape attempts.) On the way out, I noticed that it was starting to sprinkle a little bit. Being cold and windy, that rain made it really cold!! We started walking to the car but just then, it started raining hard. We picked up the pace a little and started running...and laughing. For some reason, it seemed like fun! Luckily, the preschooler had his rubber boots, so when he started intentionally going through all the puddles, I didn't even look. I just turned the stroller around so that the wind and rain wouldn't get on the toddler and we slowly walked in the rain to the car. I've been in a good mood lately and surprise myself with spontaneous laughter at something slightly funny (making it even more funny) or breaking out in song in the car by myself (because I cannot sing!) It's been a good week!

Horoscopes

I never read these in the paper or magazines. But I got an email this week with some info. I have to admit, when I matched each to some people I knew, it seemed really close and accurate. Very interesting! Just for fun!!

CAPRICORNThe Go-Getter (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid.. Ambitious. Tends to be Good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be Unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want. 20 years of good luck if you forward.

AQUARIUS- The Sweetheart (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality... Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality. 11 years of luck if you forward.

PISCES- The Dreamer (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative.May become secretive and vague. Sensitive.. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser Beautiful.
8 years of good luck if you forward.

ARIES- The Daredevil (Mar 21 - April 19)
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous.... Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (Easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic. 16 years of good luck if you forward.

TAURUS- The Enduring One (April 20 - May 20)
Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endu rance. Solid beings that are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard-- passionate.. Expresses themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined.. Indulges themselves often. Very generous. 12 years of good Luck if you forward

GEMINI- The Chatterbox (May 21 - June 20)
Smart and witty.. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptablebutneeds to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken.. Like change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent.. Beautiful physically and mentally. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CANCER- The Protector (June 21 - July 22)
Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.... 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LEO- The Boss (July 23 - Aug 22)
Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help Others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leos . Attractive.. 13 years of bad luck if you do not forward

VIRGO- The Perfectionist (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
Dominant In relationships. Conservative.. Always wants the last word.. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal.. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.... 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LIBRA- The Harmonizer (Sept 23 - Oct 22)
Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SCORPIO- The Intense One (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive.. Hardworking.. Great kisser. Can become obsessive orsecretive. Holds grudges.. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long Relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SAGITTARIUS- The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Good-natured optimist.Doesn't want to grow up ( Peter Pan Syndrome ).Indulges self.Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing.. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to 2 be around. Having lots of friends.. Flirtatious... Doesn't like rules.. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted.Beautiful inside and out.

School Crossing Guard

There is an intersection I pass by regularly which is in a school zone. One guard always stands out...he is so friendly. He will smile big and wave at each car going by. Not the little hand wave but with his whole arm up in the air with his hand waving...

I love going by this way...he seems so happy in his job and spreads cheer and smiles (which can be contagious.) I wish I had this much gusto in the little things I do each day. That is something to think about...

Last Couple of Weeks...

...I've been really busy. Last week, my youngest and his pregnant wife visited us for the whole Thanksgiving week!! It was awesome as I had only met her once (at their wedding) and I enjoyed spending so much time with them. My other brothers came and hung out too and the whole family experience was wonderful!! I love turkey and our feast turned out pretty good! We also celebrated my preschooler's fifth birthday (in which he got a new John Deere bicycle.)

This week, I'm playing catch up.

1. MIL

I'm making sure my MIL (mother-in-law) is fine. She went to the ER again (had cellulitis and needed antibiotics for a wound on her leg.) I visited her yesterday and stayed about an hour and a half. She was in such a great mood!!! She kept saying how much she missed me and mentioning that it had been such a long time since she had seen me. I didn't let her know that I see her every other day practically and let her talk. I just went with the flow but noticed that she really didn't make a lot of sense. She's losing her words. While listening to the flow of conversation, she sounded fine but listening to each word, they didn't connect grammatically she couldn't remember a lot of her thoughts and filled the sentences with 'this and that' or 'you know what I mean.' She asked me where I lived at least 7 times and what I have been doing today at least 10 times. I just that last question with another thing I did:
washed clothes and did dishes
make brownies with pecans
played batman with the preschooler
went to the grocery store
went outside (what a beautiful day!)
vacuumed
gave the toddler a nap
It gave her another thing to think about each time I answered differently. She was aware and remembered that I put all the pictures on her walls (which happened last May) but unaware that I had four children (or who they were.) It's funny what the mind does with this disease. She mentioned how she tries to keep a memory but it just goes away (I knew what she meant but just gently changed the subject to something that would make her laugh.) There were painters (a couple guys) that were redoing walls in the building. She mentioned that fact at least 14 times ( I stared keeping track after a few times.) She said they were so nice....

2. Exercise

I'm returning to the gym (after a week of eating a lot and entertaining houseguests.) Today, I stayed a little longer and, even though my face was red and I was dripping sweat, I did a full hour on a new machine. What a challenge!! I was so proud of myself! If I continue this for many, many months, I may actually get toward a normal healthy weight! Patience and determination are my friends!

3. Christmas shopping

I have the opportunity to finish any shopping without kiddos for just a few more days before my husband goes back to work. Since it goes so much faster and smoother without them there, I need to doublecheck my list for what I haven't yet bought and unload my trunk of those hidden gifts. I just love this season.

A visit to the past

I visited my former place of employment today. I worked at the facility for over 12 years and resigned about 5 years ago. I was a juvenile probation officer who supervised juveniles and young adults on parole. I had only visited there once in that time, until today. One friend who works there had a box of pecans I bought for me (I was out of town when they arrived through the county and she kept them for me until I returned.) As I walked to the building, it felt so familiar. I was so happy to see several former coworkers and see how much they've changed in the last several years. Whereas it seemed (to everyone there) that they changed slowly through the years, because I hadn't seen them in so long, it was immediately obvious how much they changed.

What I found interesting is that, while I was there, I remembered why I don't usually go there to visit. I felt so sad (almost teared up) as the place seemed like another home to me and I wasn't able to live there anymore. I really loved my work there....it was stressful, time-consuming, and chaotic at times...but I loved it. My former supervisor asked me how I liked being home with the boys (the reason that I resigned was to stay home with my son after he was born, and then consequently my other son afterwards) and whether I missed the place. I said that I missed being able to take breaks and have a specified lunch time (lol!), the camaraderie, and being able to see short-term results (seeing how I made a positive difference.)

But, I added that I know that I'm making a difference with my kiddos at home in the long-term. As long as we can afford me staying home and not working, I'll continue to stay home. For right now, that's the best decision for my family.

And that is what is most important. I'll continue to devote my extra time on the people around me who need it most, my immediate and extended family.

Where is Matt?

I love this video via youtube. It gives me warm fuzzies and I love the song. I included the song on my mp3 player for when I go to the gym (it sounds motivational to work.) It makes me feel like I'm not alone in the world..and that we're all connected. (oh and you have to click on the word video to see it.)

Washateria woes,,,

After returning from my camping trip, I waited a couple days to visit my MIL as my little one had a runny nose and I didn't want to bring in any extra germs. Normally, she will soil her clothes, wait for them to dry and then hang them back up in her closet (where they'll 'contaminate' other clothes close by too.)

On this occasion, I see that someone has helped her out. Either that, or she hasn't been walking a lot and hasn't had the energy to put them back up. For her bathroom floor was covered in sheets, mattress pads, numerous pairs of pants, socks and underclothing. While I was happy that she hadn't placed them all back in her closet, it was nowhere near Friday (the day of the week where her facility washes the clothes.) Her bed sheets/pads were also wet and needed to be changed. That meant that I had to either use the facility's equipment and have it washing while I took her to her doctor appointment or just go buy another set. I chose the latter. I knew I wouldn't be in the mood to sit and wait after the ordeal of getting her in and out of the car. She is so afraid of falling. She's already gone to the hospital again after falling and hitting her head (since her last broken finger accident.) It's hard for her to remember what to do first when getting in or out of a car. I have to be a cheerleader of sorts. (First stand up, then swivel until your bottom is near the seat, then sit, then put your legs in.) I guess it is difficult when you can't really remember how to do it smoothly since it doesn't happen often and is stressful.

While gone taking her to the doctor, I stopped at a store and ran in to buy more sheets. After I returned, I changed her sheets and gathered many clothes to be washed. I tried not to gag. After filling four huge plastic garbage bags, I knew it'd take me a LONG time to do them at home and I didn't want to have that odor around that long. So, I decided to just go to the washateria instead.

I normally look forward to going to one (it's been a long time though.) I had forgotten about the convenience of those nice rolling baskets. I wish the lady who watched me move all those loads of clothes by hand (dropping some one the floor) would have reminded me of them when she first saw me doing that instead of when I had just finished. When I realized how easier I could have made the whole process, I gave her that 'duh, I feel stupid' look and laughed. Oh well. What a release of negative energy to laugh at something stupid I did...it made me stop whining to myself about what I was doing and get me back on track.

And I did...I went back and thought of all the nice things my mother-in-law did for me over the years. Since I lost my parents as a young adult, I often relied on her for important information, conversation and motherly advice. We didn't often have the same opinion on much, but I have her the respect and courtesy while listening. I wished I had written down many stories of her childhood and of her family growing up. I had heard them so many times over the years that I thought I'd never forget them. I had no idea that at some point, I'd never hear them again.

Some recent pics of MIL.




(and with her purple shoes.)

Just Went Camping...

...I think I'd much rather go camping and drive scenic drives than go to an adventure type place like Disney World. We had an awesome time and I think that this is the best time to enjoy the great views and awesome changing of the leaves.

This tree was right outside our tent. I love how there are at least three colors in the leaves and how well they look together. It was so peaceful watching the leaves fall.


Throughout the year, I try to remember how it sounds as the water flows past and the sounds of the night. Each time I return, I am amazed at how much I forgot and how wonderful the sounds are.


Nearby falls.


Me at the bottom of a hill. I look forward to hiking the trails in the National Forest where we camp. We have returned to the Ouachita Mountains for many years now.






More trees. I just love looking up at them.


My little one does too.


The one lane roads are tricky to drive...especially with all the switchbacks.


We just love the water... I found this place when I looked on the map for the nearest area to camp that had mountains and water where there weren't a lot of people. We happened upon this particular camping park and, even though I've looked elsewhere, I haven't found anyplace I enjoy more. It's not too far from home...about 6 or 7 hours.


This is right behind our tent/camp area.


Hunting for rocks.


Another hike. This is near the top of a hill looking down.


'My happy place.'


This is the life!

Noo-Noo

I visited my MIL yesterday at her assisted living facility. She was incredibly glad to see me. She's improved greatly since her fall and broken finger. We talked about her bruises, the rain and then I talked about what I've been doing at home. I can see the unsureness in here eyes because she doesn't relate to my stories but I continue on anyway knowing she needs the attention and conversation.

On the way out, I walk her to the dining room because it was dinner time. Actually, I pushed her on her walker (it has a spot where you can sit down.) She was trying to weasel out of going down there saying her hip hurt but I know she just didn't know that it was so close and that she could walk fine.

As everyone comes in, you can hear parts of conversation here and there. I knew someone had died because of the words out of context like "pneumonia" and "he lived a good long life."

As you walk into the open dining room, there are tables all over and the people usually sit in the same spot every time. The lady who sits behind my MIL is wheelchair bound and you can tell she has had a stroke. She can't use her left hand and her right side of her mouth doesn't move much. She always sits alone at a table for two and puts on a large bib to protect her clothing. She rolled over and asked if I were MILs daughter. I said yes (and said that I was her daughter-in-law.) She said her name was Noo-Noo and that she always tries to get MIL to eat more. She said MIL likes to sit and drink her coffee instead of eating. I laughed as I know she does that all the time too. By this time, MIL wanted to sit at Noo-Noo's table but was politely told no. Noo-Noo said that she saves that other chair for her daughter (who lives an hour away and will come to visit and sit there every other week or so.) I have never seen the daughter so I'm not sure if the timeframe is correct but it is nice that she keeps it unoccupied, just in case.

Then Noo-Noo explained that Mr. Ray had died that morning. He had been in the hospital with pneumonia and had quit eating (they put in a tube etc) and eventually died. She then pointed out where he normally sits and I knew exactly who it was.

He sat with his wife (who he shared a room with at that facility) and pushed her in her wheelchair all the time. We always passed him because their table was on the side of the room where we walk to get to MILs table. He normally would stop and talk to the boys and would hi-five them. I immediately pictured his cap (it had some military patches on it) and it saddened me that we would never get that opportunity to talk to him again. How really sad his wife must now be (as he took care of her there as well...now she'll be alone.)

Noo-Noo said...This is passing-away place. It makes me so sad. (I could see her tearing up.) And then she said, I gotta get out of here. ....I know she won't ever leave, not the way she wants to anyway.

And MIL is oblivious to the conversation taking place or what had happened. Because she tends to get sad and whiny when I leave, I let MIL know that I'd be back the day after tomorrow and that I had a surprise for her. She smiled big! I have a bright purple pair of house shoes for her (she loves that style and purple is her favorite color!)

Tagged

Rachel from Once Upon a Miracle tagged me. This one looked fun – and I’m tagging anybody who reads this...if you're interested. Just leave a comment and I'll be sure to read yours as well!


ABC'S OF ME SURVEY

A - Age: Early forties

B - Bed size: King (just moved up to that size a couple months ago) With my kiddos coming in throughout the night, I don't know how we survived without one!

C - Chore you hate: Picking up after other people

D - Dog's name: Fatty (our late Australian Shepherd...she died last year...)

E - Essential start-your-day item: cereal, usually raisin bran. I usually check my email when eating breakfast too.



F - Favorite color: Black (a second color I love is green)

G - Gold or Silver: Both (I'm into silver right now though)

H - Height: 5'4"

I - I am: Going camping next week if the weather cooperates

J - Job: Mommy (in my former career, I was a juvenile probation/parole officer)

K - Kids: Four: Ages, 24, 18, 4 and 1




L - Living arrangements: I live in the house I grew up in (I moved back to it about two years ago after letting it be a rental house for a decade or so.)



M - Mom's name: She was Mom.

N - Nicknames: Rob

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: I had my tonsils out when I was 9 and for the births of my children...that's all.

P - Pet Peeve: Someone talking on the cellphone in a restaurant

Q - Quote from a movie: I have so many...the only one that comes to mind, lol!, is "Do NOT go in there!" from Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. We use that phrase to warn anybody at home not to go into the bathroom for a while!

R - Right or left handed: right.

S - Siblings: Three brothers. This is a picture of my youngest brother (from his wedding last year...he just sent the pic a couple weeks ago and I absolutely LOVE my hair in this pic...he looks handsome in it as well!)



T - Time you wake up: Usually 6:30, even on weekends (thank you children...ugh!)

"U- Underwear: Always

V - Vegetable you dislike: Maybe the question should have been, which ones Do I like (it'd be a smaller list.)

W - Ways you run late: I'm a huge procrastinator...but I like to blame the kids for last minute requests and issues as I'm going out the door.

X - X-rays you've had: ankles and sinus area

Y - Yummy food you make: King Ranch Chicken

Z - Zoo favorite: The merry go round ...and the penguins or seals, if it has them.

MMMmmm! Cupcakes!

Many years ago, my boss brought some cupcakes to work. They were wonderful and I got the recipe from her. I finally made them myself last week and had to actually hide them because we ate SO many at one time!!



Self-filled Cupcakes:

1 pkg. chocolate cake mix
1 pkg. cream cheese (8 oz.), softened
1/3 cup sugar
1 egg
6 oz. chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line muffin pans with baking cups. Make cake mix according to package directions. Spoon batter into muffin pans, filling each cup about two-thirds full. In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese and the sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the egg. Stir in the chips. Drop 1 spoonful of cheese mixture into each cupcake. Bake as cake mix package directs.

I hate feeling like this!

It was a stressful day!

I needed to take my MIL to the doctor. I have been seeing her a lot this week.
On Saturday, I spent many hours at the hospital with her after she fell and broke her finger....and again later on for a second time after she removed her half cast and all the gauze/bandages. Two times is too many times to go to the hospital on any day. So...I've been checking on her. She has been really sore and hurt from the fall (which she doesn't remember, of course.)

Of course, she continues to take off the cast on the following days as well.

So, today, I break out her wheelchair and use it instead of having her use her walker (because she'd take a month of Sundays to get from one place to another, and in pain, and I wasn't feeling very patient...I didn't have a lot of time either.) Fortunately, I got my older daughter to watch the toddler so I only had one kid with me during this 'quality time' with MIL. I packed up the dvd player and crayons/activity stuff for the preschooler along with snacks too. I never considered bringing anything to keep the MIL occupied. I should have...she kept asking where we were (her doctor, or mine.) This is the doctor she has loved for many years...and she has forgotten who he was (or where we were, and, when some memories come in, they're confusing to her.) We decide just to tape her two fingers together rather than deal with any cast/bandage issues...the easier, the better.

I need to work on my communication skills with MIL (instead of any memories she can't possibly remember.) We talked about the clouds way too much! I brought a doll to her place a few weeks ago and it has really kept her company (she talks to it and sleeps with it as well.) It's hard to think of stuff to talk about when we're cooped up in a room waiting on the doctor for an hour.

Little things seem to be so much more complicated when dealing with loved ones with Alzheimers. For instance, my MIL gets frustrated with me when I tell her how to get in the car. She feels like I'm talking down to her, I think. But, then thirty seconds later, I observe that she tries to get in on her own and gets stuck with just her head in the car and can't figure out how to get seated. I have to get her head and upper body out to then explain that her bottom has to get in first. Eventually it all works out but somehow, it makes us both feel awkward.

All in all, the whole afternoon seemed stressful and frustrating. So.......I vented my anger to my older daughters afterwards. Feel a little bad about that too. I chastised my oldest for not following through with what she said she'd do at my house (in return to money loaned to her) and not visiting her grandmother. I told her she needed to just come visit me instead of running in for something or staying a few minutes and leaving. I remember my own mom saying something similar when I was young....but I then started spending hours on the weekend with each of our parents (or parents-in-law.) I just want to shake my daughter(s) and say...hurry - visit your grandma now or she'll never remember you again!

But...later on...I calmed down...I caught myself and the little boys singing to a song on the show they were watching. I try not to stay angry or frustrated for long...and I didn't. Tomorrow's another day, another day to improve and start over.

This is what I feel like doing a lot of the time...I can't ever decide what to eat!

If I had lots of money, I'd hire a personal chef to cook or prepare food for me and my family. I sometimes have good ideas and cook but I'm not a great cook, barely good. I eat out a lot, or I have done it a lot lately. My toddler seems to love soup so we've gone to a couple restaurants over and over because they make really good baked potato soup (and new england clam chowder.) He will eat really well by himself when he eats those. Nevertheless, I tend to eat better when my hubby is home when we plan and eat together. My preschooler eats lunch at his school (even though he goes half a day) so it's just the toddler and I. Food always seems to taste better when someone else cooks it!

I used to love coming home from school and smelling the kitchen right after my mom cooked something (maybe that's why I love the arouma of onions and green peppers together even though I don't like to eat them.) I got got another cookbook so I need to cook more!!

Fishing for Trout! Yep, we played a lot during the weekend...here are my boys fishing off of the 'boat' with their fishing poles (sometimes catching fish, sometimes seeing them get away!)


While checking me email (my computer is in the living room), my toddler crawls behind it and peeks through to see me. I then make a game of it and tickle him with the skeleton arm. Of course, my one time tickle turned into a game that lasted forever it seemed, lol!


My hubby was gone three weeks at work instead of two this month and when he got back, my toddler did NOT want to let him out of his sight...they were inseparable!

We had a nice cold front this past week and it rained for days. After a couple days, the boys couldn't stand it and needed to play outside! Since it wasn't thundering or lightening, we let them....and they both had their rainboots on! They had a great time and stayed out for a long time!


Standing in the rain to pose for a picture!


And my toddler licking the raindrops from his mouth. Within a minute after I took this picture, he decided he had had enough and we all went back in.

My 18 month old toddler, while playing at playground, grabbed the hand of the little girl next to him and they walked around together for a little while holding hands. It was SO cute! I happened to catch a picture of him just after he got her hand. Aaah!

I love this time of year....autumn...pumpkins...red and orange colors! There is a church in our community that sells pumpkins each year and we always go there to pick out a pumpkin for making a jack-o-lantern. My preschooler took his time to find the perfect one.

Starting the search...


Found one...but now want a bigger one...


Still looking...


Finally found one! Sitting on it making sure it's strong...


Taking the pumpkin in a ride...on the way to the car.


Cody (my nephew) also picked one out!


C'mon Halloween!!

We went to a local petting zoo yesterday. A mommy group planned the outing for this place in the morning (while my preschooler was at school.) My toddler and I checked it out and had a great time. There was a playground there, ponies to ride, a huge sandpile with lots of digging toys, and a petting zoo. It seemed like heaven to little kids!

We planned on returning later with my preschooler after he got out of school and after the toddler napped. We did a few errands and at some point, they were both asleep in the back seat in their car seats. When my preschooler woke up (he had fallen asleep for about 10 minutes), he said, "I took a little nap. That baby music is powerful." LOL! I had forgotten that our CD was playing in the car. We have several CDs with kid songs and music and I had put in a new baby einstein one earlier and it had some lullabies on it.

We did make it back to the petting zoo. When we returned, the animals hadn't eaten in a while and were quite hungry. There were many animals wanting some of the food that is in the tiny cup you get to feed them. What that means is that the animals swarmed us when we entered the area. It was my preschooler's first time there and it was quite scary for him. At some point, I wanted to take a picture of him in there. For a moment, he tried to give me a smile...but made sure he kept his eye on that big scary hungry goat right next to him!

Last year, I bought my daughter a mini-refrigerator during the August back to school sales and gave it to her for Christmas. She keeps it in her bedroom and lately, it's been empty. It's also a favorite place for my toddler to play...usually opening and closing it over and over. Surprise...he fits inside!

Last week, I had planned on going to meet some friends on a three day weekend with my kiddos. We were all packed and I was loading the car and checking off my list of things to do when I started feeling ill. So, I stopped and sat for a while while I took a break. As it turned out, I became violently ill. I also had fever and chills and became really weak. I spent the next several days also very weak (as I still am right now.) However, today (practically a week later), is the best I've felt since then.

My husband was at work and gone the whole week so I was incredibly thankful for my older brother (and nephew) for helping out every day! I sent that poor guy to the store (or to get food for us) each day too. On one day, he took my kiddos to his house and fed them (french toast and bacon.) He brought them back later and I smelled bacon on the toddler all day long, lol! By the evening,I was calling and begging him to cook the same for me as well........and he did!

Every once in a while, I forget what it's like to be sick and take being healthy for granted. I'm glad every once in a while, I get the message to slow down and enjoy each day as it comes by being slapped down by some illness. I was very fortunate that this was a temporary thing that is on it's way out... Having to do nothing for days makes me appreciate the option to be able to do anything else like go outside with my family or the dishes. I have huge piles of clean clothes in the hallway that need to be folded and that's the task tomorrow hopefully if I can get the energy. Meanwhile, I've had lots of quality counch time reading books to my kiddos and catching up on reruns on tv.

Julie tagged me with this Honest Scrap. The rules are that I have to tell you 10 things about myself and then tag 10 people to play along.

1. I have lived in the same city my whole life (and most of that time was in two different houses.)

2. My ultimate vacation would be driving the scenic routes around the United States in a small conversion van (like a RoadTrek) so that it can go over mountains smoothly.

3. I eat raisin bran for breakfast practically every morning.

4. I have weak ankles so I don't run or job. I have found that using the elliptical at the gym feels like I'm running and I love that feeling...

5. I love the movie "You've Got Mail" and cry everytime I see it.

6. I met the man who I ended up marrying when I was 15 at a skating rink.

7. I love to go camping (have actually only camped less than a dozen times.) I will be going again in November.

8. There are some times that I count down the minutes until my kids go to sleep and then miss them so much I that I secretly want to wake them up again for moments lost.

9. I am afraid of heights.

10. If you're reading this and want to play along, consider yourself tagged! I would love to get to know you better.

We went to a birthday party for a neighbor's daughter today at a park. While we all had a great time and I took a ton of pictures, there were many cute ones of my toddler that I wanted to share. He loves climbing and climbed up as I held my breath...



Then played peek-a-boo!


I just love his smile! How great it is to be one!


What SOOC photo do you have to share this SOOC Saturday {weekend}?

I have been working my behind off moving stuff at my mother-in-law's house (how I wish that was a literal statement!) I'm renting out her house to my brother (except a large room that used to be a garage in which I'm storing her furniture. I want her tiny nestegg to last as long as possible and the rent money will help. Her home is in such disarray that it would be in need of huge capital in order to rent it to anyone else. So, my nephew and I have been working in the mornings going through closets and moving furniture. I feel like her things shouldn't be disposed of or divided considering she's still alive. My dental hygienist suggested a book to me while I got my teeth cleaned last week, The Long Goodbye. She said her husband often referenced it in his line of work with the elderly...those with Alzheimers...they die slowly as their memories fade and away from the person you once loved... My legs are sore and I've packed many boxes thus far. We've been extremely productive and it feels great!

My poor preschooler woke up at 4am with an earache. (Well, both little kids were up then, and all morning, but that's another story.) He has had some allergies lately (time of year) and they got out of hand. By morning, he was punch drunk because he was so tired and yet full of energy to stay awake. He wavered between laughing and crying. When I asked why he was crying...he sobbed, I don't know. He just felt bad. We went in early to see the doctor and sure enough, sinus infection! The doctor also asked if he had been snoring. Why, yes! I had noticed that he was snoring a couple of times this week (never does) and that was also a sign he was getting sick. His schedule is way off. I noticed in the waiting room at the pediatrician's office that most kids were sitting on their parent's lap....as my own kid was doing....trying to feel better. Boy, I need a nap!

Last weekend, we visited my SIL who lives on a bay. We always enjoy going there and hanging out. This particular time, their bulkhead (the area where the water meets the dirt area on their property) was being rebuilt and my preschooler was hanging a great time on the CAT bobcat that was left behind. The owner of the equipment actually came by and gave him a ride and lesson in driving it. Talk about hanging a great time!!! He really loved it!


We enjoyed playing peek-a-boo! The toddler kept peeking from behind the wall and cackling afterwards!


Going treasure hunting at the boat dock area. He rode his bicycle with one training wheel down there and then carried his shovel all around looking for something good. We kept singing Pirate songs, especially one by The Backyardigans, and saying Aargh!


At night, we enjoyed fishing on the pier. Only one was caught and it escaped before being brought all the way up. At night, we turn on the lights to warm up the water where the fish congregate so we can catch them easier. On this particular night, there was no wind and all the insects swarmed under the lights.